Strawberry Kisses #2

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For those of you who don't catch on right away, I am switching between the past and the present. This chapter is jumping back to when Lana was a teenager. Just wanted to clear that up encase some people got confused :wink:

Happy Reading :D

_________________________________________

PART TWOPast

The sun was high in the sky, beating steadily down onto her shoulders as Lana shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot, tugging self-consciously on her pleated skirt. The strawberry patches carried their heavenly aroma across her nose and she couldn’t resist the temptation any longer, plucking one small fruit from it’s home. She bit softly into it, letting the juices spill over and stain her lips and tongue a bright red. Throwing the stem over her shoulder, she listened to the gentle melody of the doves and sparrows in the trees around her, singing to their own tune, oblivious to the all the other activity around them.
Lana sometimes wished that she could be as free as they could, able to fly wherever their heart desired. But that would never be her. Same went for Charlie. They were both destined for bigger and better things, like universities and high-paying jobs. It angered her to think that her parents never gave one thought to what she wanted. It was always what they thought she wanted. And by what Charlie told her, it was the same for him.
A twig snapped behind her and she spun to see Charlie emerge from the surrounding foliage. A few pine needles had embedded themselves into his brunette strands and he brushed off several more from his blazer. “I thought you wouldn’t come,” he admitted upon seeing her.
“I promised I would and I never break my promises, Boon,” Lana swore, her chin high; Charlie grinned. “So why do you want me here anyway?”
“Just to see you. Talk to you. We have a lot in common, Lana,” Charlie stated, and Lana’s eyes widened, for she had just been thinking the same thing.
“So?” Lana challenged, her eyes defiant.
“So?” Charlie advanced on her, taking a step with each word he spoke. “We could be friends, Lana, you and me.” Lana shook her head, knowing that she should run from here, escape. Nothing good would come with being friends with Charlie Boon.
But she held still, frozen to the ground, until he halted only a foot away. “What do’ya say, Lana? Friends?” He held out his hand, large and callused from years of hard labor, even if his parents were rolling in their own millions. Charlie used to tell her how his father thought a man should work for his money, and so, Charlie was stuck working for his father’s carpenter business repairing roofs and fixing porches everyday after school. He had always thought his life was what it was; he had never thought that it could be more than what his parents had planned for him.
That all changed when he met Lana Louise.
It had been at the summer fair the year before. They had both just graduated their junior year at Ridley’s Private High. She was with her usual group and he had never given her a second thought. However, as they all waited in line for the Twirling Bear or whatever it was called, Charlie saw Lana through new eyes.
Her hair seemed to gleam, the golden strands haven grown out over the last year. They were loosely curled down her back, pulled back from her suddenly attractive face—thinly arched brows, soft cheekbones, defined nose, sensuously lips, and bronze-colored eyes that seemed to pierce right through him, as if she knew all his secrets.
Charlie was stunned.
But being the cocky, sometimes obnoxious boy he was, he would never admit that she had him under her spell. He acted as he normally did, shoving his way to the front, cutting pointedly in front of Lana and her friends.
“Hey, Boon! Get to the back of the line!” Lana called out, her eyes shooting daggers. Before he had found her attractive, he had looked at Lana as the most annoying girl that had ever graced this earth. She was always competing against him in class. It wasn’t his fault that he was smarter than she was.
“You talking to me, Lana?” Boon cocked an eyebrow, his smile coy.
“Yeah, I’m talking to you, Boon. Move it to the back.” She threw her thumb over her shoulder, indicating the end of the long line.
Charlie shook his head, as if it was the saddest sight. “It’s not my fault you are stuck back there.”
Lana frowned. “I wouldn’t be if you hadn’t cut in front of us.”
“Me?” Charlie pressed his hands into his chest, mocking innocence. “I cut in front of you? No, Lana, you have it all wrong. I would never do that.” He fought against a smile that wished to be shown, and he saw Lana fighting the same loosing battle.
Rolling her eyes, she put her hands on her hips. “You are something else, Charlie Boon.”
Charlie beamed, as if it was the most wonderful compliment he had ever had. “Thanks, Lana.” He winked at her, and she scowled before he faced front again and stepped into one of the Bears. It was one of those things that you held onto the handle and spun faster around until you were sick. Charlie purposefully chose one that was empty and he saw Lana being guided towards him. His smile widened, but he was tricked as one of her friend’s slid into the seat beside him instead. Lana picked the one in front of them, and Charlie was left feeling disappointed. “Hey, Charlie,” a seductive voice cooed. He knew without looking who it was.
Tiffany Snider, the beautifully redhead with such a curvaceous figure that it was a wonder she didn’t have a boyfriend. “Hey, Tiff.”
“Don’t you spin too fast, Boon,” she warned as the ride started.
“Oh, I won’t,” he promised, though his smile was wicked. He knew he should enjoy his time with her as best he could. It wasn’t often that Tiffany singled out a guy to hang with. Charlie started to spin the handles, pulling and tugging until the Bear was out of control. Tiffany then let loose with the curse that sent guys fleeing.
Her laugh echoed around them, a cross between a snort and a cough that made Charlie grimace. Her eyes were wide as they spun faster, and Charlie couldn’t help himself from looking to the ride in front of them. Lana was sitting with Harry Simon, his shoulder brushing hers. Charlie felt his jaw tighten, suddenly defensive, and as the ride slowed, he couldn’t wait to leave the car.
“Well, that was fun,” Tiffany exclaimed, slightly breathless and a little green. She fell from the car and went to walk but instead propelled right into Charlie. He caught her before she hit the ground and then, his eyes widened when he saw her red-painted lips inches from his, her green eyes framed with long-lashes batting innocently at him. He felt her to-die-for figure leaning into his body, and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to resist…as long as she didn’t laugh.
But when his eyes raised to land on Lana, seeing her held steady by Harry’s muscled arms, he forgot all about Tiffany. He then watched in disbelief as Lana kissed Harry affectionately on the cheek. Harry smiled softly, and Charlie watched their eyes connect.
It all happened pretty quickly after that.
“Lana, what are you doing?” Charlie called, still holding Tiffany firmly in his arms, her head against his chest. Lana’s eyes broke away from Harry’s to stare, bewildered, at him. Harry, in turn, glared with a ferocity that meant to scare but only made Charlie smile.
“What are you talking about, Boon?” Lana demanded, leaning pointedly into Harry; Charlie’s eyes narrowed.
“You know what I mean. Don’t go throw your stuff in with this loser,” he remarked. Lana’s eyes shifted, and Harry’s glare deepened.
“Who you calling a loser?” Harry demanded, stepping away from Lana, who pulled back on his arms to stop him.
“Yeah, Boon, Harry isn’t a loser,” she answered firmly, smiling sweetly up at Harry. Charlie rolled his eyes.
“You don’t know what he is, Lana. You deserve better than that.” He took a step forward, gaining momentum as he talked.
“And you think you’re better?” Lana guessed.
“You bet I am,” Charlie informed her, winking coyly.
“You are such a liar, Boon. Harry is more a man than you!” she screamed, eyes flashing in challenge.
Charlie stood straighter. “If he’s more a man, kiss him, Lana. Prove to us all!” Lana gasped before her lips formed into a thin line, rage written all over her face. By now, most kids had stopped to watch the show, even the ride manager. Charlie read her hesitation and grinned. “You can’t do it, Lana, ‘cause you know I’m right.”
“The hell you are!” she declared and with one smooth movement, she reached up to her tiptoes and planted a firm kiss onto Harry’s surprised and obviously delighted face. Charlie’s hands clenched into fists, but he knew he still held Tiffany, who was watching the show with a slightly amused expression. He glanced down at her, and then back to Lana, who was staring defiantly back at Charlie, her smile smug.
Charlie just shrugged. “Then you ain’t the girl for me, Lana, if you kiss a boy like Harry.”
Lana glowered. “Then who’s the girl for you, Boon, hmm?”
“Tiffany,” he stated and before she could say another word, Charlie’s lips smoothed over Tiffany’s luscious ones. Charlie soon became the first boy to kiss Tiffany Snider. Lana gasped, like the rest of the group watching. When Charlie pulled up for air, he saw Lana shaking with such fury and embarrassment that it made his eyes twinkle with delight.
“You are a bad boy, Charlie,” she stated, her eyes narrowed into slits.
Sliding an audacious tongue over his lips, producing many more gasps from the crowd, Charlie released Tiffany and approached Lana. “No, I ain’t a bad boy, Lana. Not yet, at least.”
“What are you talking about?” Lana demanded, but she didn’t get out much else as Charlie swept her into his arms. Her bronze-colored eyes widened when she realized what was happening. She opened her mouth to retort, but Charlie’s lips molded over hers and all cries died in her throat.
Charlie had kissed many girls before Lana Louise. But none had been like that.
She had pulled back feebly at first, but eventually, both of them melted into the kiss. Charlie couldn’t’ remember how long it lasted, if it were five seconds or five minutes. All he knew was Lana Louise, her taste—like strawberry Chapstick, and her smell—like vanilla and morning dew. Her body was more softly curved than Tiffany’s, slender and toned. Her arms slipped around his neck and played with the tiny hairs at the back of his neck. His own hands held her hips, forming to her shape. It was a kiss that involved not only their lips, but their bodies as well.
When they finally stopped, both were breathless and slightly red-faced. Both just stared into each other’s eyes for a long moment after, a thousand messages transmitting between them before Lana ripped herself out of Charlie’s embrace. Hooking arms with Harry, she yanked him down the stairs and that was the last he saw of Lana Louise until the following school year.
“I don’t know, Charlie.” Lana’s voice cut through his memories, pulling him back into reality. He looked up into the year-older Lana, who still was the attractive, blonde-haired gal that wore strawberry Chapstick. She was also different somehow. She held herself in more a looser way, as if her defiant side was slowly fading. Her eyes weren’t always so lit with that fiery anger that she usually held for him.
Charlie swallowed hard. “I know, Lana, and you know that I want to be more than friends. But I have learned a long time ago that you will never agree to something like that. So, friends?” he asked again, sawing his hand through the air, disturbing the breeze.
Lana gazed at it, chewing her lip. She hadn’t been the only one revisiting that fateful day at the fair and her heart was still trying to calm after that kiss that had robbed her of all sanity. Shocking herself, she let herself glance shyly at his lips, still full and lovely. They had been so possessive, so commanding, that all she could do was to give in to such force. She knew it was lie to say that she hadn’t wanted him to kiss her. From that moment that he had cut in front of her in line, her eyes had been opened to the new Charlie Boon.
He had grown over the year, several inches taller. He also wasn’t the scrawny boy he used to be, his shoulders wider, his trim waist now able to hold up his pants without a belt. Through his fitting tee, she could only imagine the defined muscles rippling across the wide expanse. His face had lost that baby-look, chiseled and defined with prominent cheekbones, thick brows, those full lips, and mossy brown-green eyes that drew her in more often than none. She no longer could deny the truth.
Charlie Boon had cast his spell and now she was under his trance.
Glancing at his hand, she released her lip from her teeth and slowly raised her hand. Firmly gripping his, she glanced into his eyes.
“Friends.”
Last edited by ashleylee on Sun Aug 31, 2008 7:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love—and to put his trust in life."
~ Joseph Conrad


"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
~ Red Auerbach




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Ashley-
Whoa. That was an amazing part two. Are you planing to write more? I don't wanna sound greedy, but it was that good and I like to read more.
The way you described the scenery and Charlie and Lana was just breathtaking. Ashley, it was that good. {even though I said that.}
Between That all changed when he met Lana Louise. and It had been at the summer fair the year before. could have some space or ********, to seperate the past from the present. {I don't know, it's just a thought I had} Oh, and the fair reminded me of the Notebook.
I was actually surprised that Lana kissed Harry and Charlie kissed Tiffany. I didn't think they would go through it. But it was cute. :wink: Then Charlie's and Lana's kiss was just too cute. Love the way you worded it.
Not much I can say. Otherwise...I want to read more!
-Merry




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Merry_Haven:

Oh, thanks, Merry. That was sweet of you.

Yeah...I kinda, umm, watched The Notebook and then wrote this so...umm, yeah :oops: I'll fix that to make it more original.

Yes, I have nine chapters of this written so far but I can't really post anything yet. I will soon though :wink:

Thanks again for reading!
"Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love—and to put his trust in life."
~ Joseph Conrad


"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
~ Red Auerbach




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Good part two! I really enjoyed reading it, the way you described everything was great!

Not that much to say really, I liked it all! Sorry that this isn't a useful review! Let me see...
I give up. Just feel really warm and tingly inside that you are writing something that has me interested that I actually saw you had part two up and said out loud "YAY!"


Keep writing, I know you will! I am still expecting that overtime! You are fantastic, feel like the ultra special person you are!

-Your Devoted Reader
It's not the face, but the expressions on it. It's not the voice, but what you say. It's not how you look in the body, but the things you do with it. You are beautiful.-------Ian O'Shea




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Hey Ashley! Hooray, more~

Lana sometimes wished that she could be as free as they could, able to fly wherever their heart desired

Eh, this is a very cliche thought. I think you can portray these same thoughts without overusing this overlyused concept.

“Just to see you. Talk to you. We have a lot in common, Lana,” Charlie stated, and Lana’s eyes widened, for she had just been thinking the same thing.

That's a pretty odd statement, because I thought they knew each other already pretty well, and it seemed sort of "getting-to-know-you-ish". I think you should an "afterall" in there. "After, we have a lot in common, Lana".

“We could be friends, Lana, you and me.” Lana shook her head, knowing that she should run from here, escape.

Okay, so I was right before, they didn't know each other that well! This is weird then - they're not friends, but he stormed into a classroom to talk to her? I think, in that prior scene in the first part, you need to mention that they're not friends. Because right now, I'm slightly confused about their relationship at this point. This is a "getting to know you" type of thing, but I wasn't aware - they still kinda seem to know each other. How? Is this a mistake, or have they been acquaintances for quite some time? You need to explain this all, to make their relationship more solid, more clear.

It had been at the summer fair the year before. They had both just graduated their junior year at Ridley’s Private High. She was with her usual group and he had never given her a second thought. However, as they all waited in line for the Twirling Bear or whatever it was called, Charlie saw Lana through new eyes.
Her hair seemed to gleam, the golden strands haven grown out over the last year. They were loosely curled down her back, pulled back from her suddenly attractive face—thinly arched brows, soft cheekbones, defined nose, sensuously lips, and bronze-colored eyes that seemed to pierce right through him, as if she knew all his secrets.
Charlie was stunned.

I think this scene should come first,before the one prior to it. I think we need to know this before the little friend dialogue in the strawberry patch. This makes the relationship more clear, just what I was talking about before.

I think you can move the friends scene to the end and this will all work out perfectly. As it is, with the sandwich thing you have going on, their relationship is sort of fuzzy and confusing, and I'm all like, "wait, how well do they know each other and this point? And at that point?"

I hope this is helpful. I do like the story!

PM me if you have questions. ^_~

~ Clo
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omsvmars22:

You are too sweet! I think your review just made my day! :D

Thanks for being such a devoted reader of mine!

clograbby:

Thanks for looking at this. And yes, I will work on that 'sandwich' thing :wink: hehe And I will also change all those things that you pointed out as well.

Thanks again for reading!
"Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love—and to put his trust in life."
~ Joseph Conrad


"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
~ Red Auerbach




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oohhhh,

i could pracically smell teh strawberries in the began. the scene was beautiful describe.

so charlie and lana are now friends, but i am getting hte feeling that they are goin gto be more here pretty soon.


put another piece up soon.
"I love you," she whispered in his ear, before taking his mouth with her own.

~Elizzabeth Grey of Addicting Posion




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Night Mistress:

Don't worry, I will! :wink:

I'm am actually having quite a lot of fun writing this so believe me, there will be more!

Thanks for reading! :D
"Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love—and to put his trust in life."
~ Joseph Conrad


"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
~ Red Auerbach




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The strawberry patches carried their heavenly aroma across her nose and she couldn’t resist the temptation any longer, plucking one small fruit from it’s home.

Its, not it's.


“You are a bad boy, Charlie,” she stated, her eyes narrowed into slits.

No offense, Ash - I love the rest of it - but this line feels corny. Like something someone to say to someone else while they were feeling horny or something? Or am I just weird?


He looked up into the year-older Lana, who still was the attractive, blonde-haired gal that wore strawberry Chapstick.

Awkward wording, with the whole year-older thing. Reword.


I LOVED this. I think this may be my favorite story of yours yet. Charlie's personality is so enjoyable to read about.

On the negative side, I thought that your characters' reactions seems off a times. I am far too lazy to go back and point out which and where, but if you reread you might see what I mean.

Otherwise, I am off to read more :)




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KJ:

Thanks! :D I'm glad you liked it!

Yeah, I wrote this really fast so I could post it on here. I'll go back and reread it and fix all those mistakes.

Thanks again!
"Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love—and to put his trust in life."
~ Joseph Conrad


"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
~ Red Auerbach



Pain is filtered in a poem so that it becomes finally, in the end, pleasure.
— Mark Strand