I know this was quick, I actually posted chapter 12 before 11 by accident! Hehe, so I put up 11 and waited a few days. Chapter 12 is officially my favorite chapter. It's really short though, but it explains a lot.
Dear Evie,
I write this letter to you, I cannot find you anywhere. It’s been exactly three hours since our meeting in the buffet when you walked out.
I opened the door to Jacks Lantern and greeted the Australian clerk from yesterday. He had a bright smile as he led me to the back chair where we would perform the process of snake bites. “I am not going to lie, this will hurt.” He informed me as he laid me back against the chair.
You tell me how much pain I have caused you and now I realized it. I realized how much pain someone can inflict on another. How much sorrow can come from a heart, how much hate, and how much love.
I closed my eyes as he placed on the rubber gloves. He told me to push my lip upward as he cleaned my skin under my bottom lip. A cold dot pressed against the right side of my lower lip. “How’s that, right there?” I looked in the mirror and saw a purple dot right below my lip.
“Yes, that’s fine.” I gulped.
But most of all, I’ve realized how much pain I have caused myself. Not just within this week, but from first letting you go four years ago. That day when you came up to me and told me straight to my face you liked me I thought you were the most boldest person in the world.
“How about this one?” I once again peered into the mirror to see another purple dot on the other side of my lip. I nodded, then he set me back down against the chair. He took out a brownish ointment and rubbed some on each purple dot.
I was crazy about you. But like I told you before, I hated the power you possessed over me. All I could think to do was ignore it and hopefully the power and you would go away. But Evie - you are one tough soldier.
I felt a cold metal circle pinch my lip over top the purple dots. “Here we go. I want you to think of something so relaxing. Drugs, in this case, would work best.” I laughed inside at the thought, but the only relaxing thing to me right now was being at home, with all my friends. Whether I was curled up on the couch reading a book or at some party dancing my butt off. Home is where the heart truly is...
I can’t think of any possible reason for not saying ‘yes’. I think I was nervous. But none of that matters now. All I want to do is be able to get out of school - start out lives as adults - together. We don’t need anything or anyone, Just each other. Is that too weird?
My mind was in a state of shock as the needle was finally through my lip. Slowly, the Australian clerk pulled it out and quickly placed in the neon blue and pink stud I bought. He chuckled, then on the strolling chair he made his way to the other side of my head. “Here goes piercing number two.” He smiled, pinching my lips with the cold metal circles.
I don’t quite know how to explain how I feel. Those three words are said too much; their not enough. I wish I could forget the world with you. Forget all those haunting, painful memories and guilt trips. Let’s smile, waist time, laugh, be ourselves, and be together.
This time I thought of being a child. When I was little and happy, where everyone was friends with everyone. Drama wasn’t created then, only friendship and happiness. Love was far from our minds, and we all needed to make sure we had our “Coodie Shots”. I wanted to smile at the memory, but my lip was kind of busy at the moment.
I don’t want to graduate and leave everything behind. I don’t want to wake up in ten years and realize I made the biggest mistake of my life by letting you go. I want to wake up in ten years and be able to still walk out and see you in your goofy clothes, dancing around and smiling. My heart warms up around you, Evie. I don’t know where, how, or what we’ll be, but I want to know I will have you there.
This time, my eyes watered. It wasn’t the pain caused by the needle. It was the memories. I wanted to be little again and have my mother pick me up in her arms and dance around, telling me the amazing stories and tales of her life. I hated how fast life moved, how many mistakes and regrets you can have, and how fast time will go before you realize it’s too late to go back.
Evie, I want to be with you. I don’t want to realize what a better life I could have had if I had chased you down when I’m on my death bed. I want to be there with you next to me, holding my hand. I’ve never felt this way before, Evie. I can’t take my feelings and place them in a jar and set them on your door step. But believe me - if I could, I would.
I let one tear stroll down my cheek before sitting up and looking into the mirror. I smiled at the piercings in my lips. I turned my head one way, then the other. “Wow. You handled that way better than me.” I looked at the Australian boy who smiled. I got up and walked over to the counter to pay.
I don’t want to be little anymore. I want to be an adult with you. I want to be your best friend, you trusted best friend. I want to be able to watch movies with you, work with you, shop with you, talk with you and not feel that it will lead to something just sexual. I want to make sure you’re comfortable around me. That you feel safe and content because, Evie...
I walked out of the head shop and took a deep breath. I relaxed and sighed. I started to walk back to the hotel when I realized I wanted to do something else instead. I wanted to be myself. I wanted to do something for me and be happy with it.
...that’s all I’ve ever wanted. I love you...
I reached the Miami mall and walked in, taking a look at my surroundings. All I saw were happy kids or happy couples. People who strived for happiness and reached it. I realized that my happiness was ten blocks back, in front of a beach, room 205, 6th floor. Aaron was my happiness.
-Aaron.
Carly was glad she had her bathing suit on under her clothes because she reached the gym and decided a nice work out would be nice with a indoor swim afterwards. In her bathing suit top and the sweats, she hoped herself on the treadmill, plugged in her iPod, and was off.
Cary’s reasons for running were different from the Evie’s. Evie ran for the pure joy of her body striving, releasing stress, and becoming faster. Carly ran to release anger, to feel the burn and to keep pushing. It was her way of crying; running so fast until it hurt.
She closed her eyes and lost her mind in the music as her body robotically ran on the moving band. She started to feel a strong heat rise in her thighs, a pain yearning in her knees to stop which only made her keep going. Carly’s eyes squinted as she quickened up her pace, palling her fists, the burn intensifying.
“Ugh!” She grunted as she became angrier, more determined. She picked up her pace even more until she swore every vein in her body was popping out above her skin. She started to lean forward as her feet couldn’t keep up with the speeding band. When she was about to fall, two hands clasped her waist and pulled her off.
“Whoa, there.” Carly looked straight up into Brad’s eyes and scrambled away.
“What are you doing here? How did you find me?” She asked, standing up and taking our the ear buds of her headphones.
“I looked everywhere actually. I saw you in here and waited, but then I saw you were about to fall and pulled you off before you fell and get hurt.” Brad shrugged, his hands in his pockets of his khaki’s.
“Oh...” Carly sighed.
“Can-can I explain? Please?” Brad stuttered, stepping forward. Carly thought about it. She didn’t want to be harsh and tell him no since it wouldn’t matter, she’s leaving him anyway. But she also wanted to hear it out.
“Fine.” They took a seat by the indoor pool, watching the falling rain through the glass windows.
Brad explained the whole story, all of it. He didn’t leave out a single detail. Afterwards, he waited for Carly’s response. Carly was overwhelmed by the whole story, afraid that if she spoke, she’d forgive him and fall back into his arms. ‘Is that what I wanted? To be with him again?’ Carly thought to herself. She looked at all the facts: of being happy, feeling trusted and being able to trust, being content and secure.
Carly turned to Brad and smiled. Not big, just a small smile. She leaned in and hugged him, sighing. Brad sighed, too. He felt at ease.
“I’m so sorry, Carly.” He murmured in her ear, rubbing her back. Carly leaned her head on his shoulder and relaxed. Deep down inside, Carly didn’t feel relaxed though, she felt like she was lying. Doing whatever she could to keep Brad happy.
