If Art Could Speak...

I sometimes get my ideas for stories or poetry from simply thinking about something stupid. Maybe one day, I'll say, "What's it like to get hit by a car? Does everything feel like it's slow motion, or does it go by so fast you don't even know what happens?"

Suffice to say, that's how this poem got started. What would a piece of Art say?

If Art Could Speak:

Come one come all,
We’ve found ourselves carved in stone.
We are smiling;
A greeting to hand out to the gathered
who pass by, staring without a clue
as to what the story behind us was.
What was the reason? Why are we smiling?
If only we could speak,
perhaps they would understand
why man was never meant to create
such acts of shame and horror
to display upon the canvas or the stones.
I have my partner between my hands,
and my legs.
Strapped in; but why does she smile,
if she truly hates this position with all of her soul?
So now we’re labeled as art…
Where is the art in this?

This poem is really entertaining. I like the topic idea about if art could speak. I laughed when you talked about how the person in the picture was smiling, but hated her position she was sitting in. Maybe as another one of your poem topics you can talk about getting hit by a car. That seems like another good idea.
Overall:
-creative
-entertaining
-fun
NICELY DONE!

-Moonlight

Krupp wrote:I sometimes get my ideas for stories or poetry from simply thinking about something stupid. Maybe one day, I'll say, "What's it like to get hit by a car? Does everything feel like it's slow motion, or does it go by so fast you don't even know what happens?"

Suffice to say, that's how this poem got started. What would a piece of Art say?

If Art Could Speak:

Come one come all,
We’ve found ourselves carved in stone.
We are smiling; ((we are is uneeded))
A greeting to hand out to the gathered
who pass by, staring without a clue ((clueless instead of 'without a clue'))
as to what the story behind us was.
What was the reason? Why are we smiling?
If only we could speak,
perhaps they would understand
why man was never meant to create
such acts of shame and horror
to display upon the canvas or the stones. ((I felt the last 7 lines were weak, but it is saved by the begining in the end. Sadly, these lines were needed, I just feel that maybe you could go back and add some more vivid imagery to tie the reader over))
I have my partner between my hands,
and my legs.
Strapped in; but why does she smile,
if she truly hates this position with all of her soul? ((I just love these last four lines. I rarely comment about things I like in the body of the critique, but I REALLY love this))
So now we’re labeled as art… ((as is uneeded, I liked the elipses))
Where is the art in this?

I liked it. I felt the middle was lacking, I found myself reaidng just to get to the end. That being said the end is amazing and the begining isn't bad. I would go back to try and spice up the imagery, but the flow is fine, the idea is something I don't like, but you did it so well that I don't care. This was well done, it could use some improvements here or there, but overall it is good.

Overall Rating - Very Good