Young Writers Society

i really liked the poem that i came up with for the writing olypmics so i thought that i would put it on here

As the cancer spreads,
You die ever so slowly,
Leaving us behind.

let me know what you think

The idea behind haikus is that you must show and not tell in 17 syllables, a daunting task and one i dont try to take on. In this poem you basically tell us somebody is dying of cancer, without any sort of language that titillates the mind or makes us feel the pain of cancer. All in all it was fine, but with room for improvement.

Keep up the good fight

sounds like something I could read in a health book.

This is poetry. Tell us a story, show us an image and we'll respond. What you have here is a fact stated in a linguistic format.

Try writing a poem about cancer. And we'll read that.