harry potter

2 posts
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unsterblichkeit36
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 12
Wed Jul 23, 2008 2:50 am
unsterblichkeit36 says... · Wed Jul 23, 2008 2:50 am
here is my poem that my friends and i composed:


Harry,Harry,Harry Potter!
Has a mgical wand!
He can cast a spell and send you to hell
but he will never be james bond!
-SaraRose
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Yatta!
Gender None specified
Points 762
Reviews 64
Fri Jul 25, 2008 12:44 am
Yatta! says... · Fri Jul 25, 2008 12:44 am
HAHAHA! You wrote that in like 5 seconds didn't you?

Please don't post something like that again, I mean, not unless it's with some more poems, I feel bad that you wasted your points on that. lol.

Still, I am going to critique it for serious (edits are in the commas):

Harry,Harry,Harry Potter!

Has a (magical) wand!

He can cast a spell (shifted downwards for stylistic purposes)

and send you to hell

but (deleted "he will" for rhythmic purposes) never be (J)ames (B)ond!


haha....have fun.
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2 posts


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