My first piece of work..... on this site.

Wind blew loudly through my hair as I waited paitenly at the corner of the street hoping something, anything would happen soon. Most people were in their basements hiding in fear, but I was waiting for it to arrive, the sense of the storm coming was invigorating. My senses were going wild, tonight was the night I would die. I did not want to die it wasn't a choice I wanted to make. I was only 6 years old at the time my parents abandoned me... a few years before the storm. A family had taken me in but they had no home themselves, the family was so sweet and kind that I knew after they'd died a week before the storm that I had to go up with them. I wanted so badly to live a normal life, but no one wanted me, my parents were young and misunderstood. Snapping back to reality I realized I wasn't dead yet, everything seemed to become warmer. Visions of my mother and father came into my head, I shook them away and started to think of the kindly family that took me in 5 years earlier. That was when everything started to get cold, dangerously cold. Then I saw the face of an angel.

*moved to Other*

Very original! I liked it, but some parts became to confusing.

UnknownR wrote: Wind blew loudly through my hair as I waited paitenly at the corner of the street hoping something, anything would happen soon. Most people were in their basements hiding in fear, but I was waiting for it to arrive, the sense of the storm coming was invigorating. My senses were going wild, tonight was the night I would die.

This is probably my favorite part of this whole... story if you will. I like the picture you have put in my head with the imagery you use. I can just see a little boy standing on a street conrner as a big gush of wind along with newspapers and leaves blow throw him. Well written!

UnknownR wrote: A family had taken me in but they had no home themselves, the family was so sweet and kind that I knew after they'd died a week before the storm that I had to go up with them. I wanted so badly to live a normal life, but no one wanted me, my parents were young and misunderstood. Snapping back to reality I realized I wasn't dead yet, everything seemed to become warmer. Visions of my mother and father came into my head, I shook them away and started to think of the kindly family that took me in 5 years earlier.

this is where I get confused. I think you should clearify the characterzation of your parents and the family that took you in.

UnknownR wrote:Then I saw the face of an angel.

I love the ending. I think it ends strong.

Overall you did an awesome job! Pm me when you post some thing else!

-much encouragement Tiffany

interesting but it kind of made me think of a book that we had to read for school
the book was called the Midwife's Apprentice i think

your story isnt the same of course but the idea of being abandoned kind of reminded me of that

for a book we had to read in school it wasn't that bad
and i like your idea

will this evolve into a whole story or is it just going to stay like that

oh and welcome to YWS
PM me when you post something else id be glad to review
and sry this wasnt much of a review though it getting late where i live
i should be asleep actually

bi bi