Curses, Spells, Fate and Coincidence part 2

Since he had nowhere to live and no money, Clover decided the best thing to do was get a job. He wandered the cold streets of the village, not knowing where to begin.

It hasn't been that long since you said his name, use 'he' to keep the sentence flowing.

He rounded a corner and something caught his eye in the window of the bakery.

I'll stand by the previous correction, but at this point I think you've overdone 'he'.
Try: "Rounding the corner, something caught his eye in the window of the bakery.

There he met the baker, Mr. Baker, who agreed to hire Clover as an assistant.

Strictly opinion. But I think starting with "Inside he met the baker" would sound better.
-Also, use 'He' instead of Clover in this one.
-In reality, you could say his name only once at the beginning of a very long paragraph and as long as you don't introduce another subject you can just use 'he' for the whole thing.

The first incident was when Clover knocked over the supplies in the storage closet.

Same thing. He.

but began to worry when Clover broke a flower vase the next day.

HEEEEE

Clover tried harder to be less clumsy

this 'Clover' is appropriate because there were 'Mr. Baker' was the primary subject in the last sentence.

One time, he was carrying a tray of dough when he tripped over a chair leg.

Try: '...he was carrying a tray of dough and tripped over a chair leg.'

he was terrified to see that the dough landed on Mr. Baker’s head

Try 'The dough HAD landed...'

He was surprised when Mr. Baker let it go and just told him to clean up the mess

added 'just' to emphasize the act of kindness, giving more reason for Clover to be surprised.

Mr. Baker regretted that he ever hired him

Mr Baker was starting to regret that he had ever hired him.

, he began dusting the shelves, and that was when he saw Munchie scurrying on a shelf he couldn’t reach.

Try: ', when he began dusting the shelves he caught sight of Munchie scurrying on a shelf too high for him to reach.'

The hamster showed no sign of hearing him

This just sounds weird. Try something like. 'The hamster ignored him.'

it wobbled slightly, but it was enough for him to lose his balance.

You would use but here if wobbling was something unlikely to cause someone to lose their balance. Instead you should say:
'it wobbled slightly, enough for him to lose his balance.'

sending them flailing down onto the front counter,

Flailing is not the word you are looking for. (Look up 'flail' to see why.) Try careening, crashing, or even just falling.

the cakes and pastries behind it were smashed

This might be a dialect thing, but I'd be wary of using the term 'smashed' on something as soft as a pastry. Something simple like 'destroyed', or 'squashed' would be more my taste here.

For a minute he was speechless

I'd suggest 'moment' instead.

Clover swallowed. Mr. Baker stomped over to where Clover was lying on the ground and pulled him up.

You reused clover again.
Try: 'Clover swallowed as Mr. Baker stomped over to where he was lying on the ground and pulled him up.'

nibbling at Clover’s earlobe

his earlobe

Munchie, eh? Dragonquest fan?
Cute story, good job.

Dreamworx95 wrote:Since he had nowhere to live and no money, Clover decided the best thing to do was get a job. He wandered the cold streets of the village, not knowing where to begin. He rounded a corner and something caught his eye in the window of the bakery.

Too many sentences starting with he. Change it up a little. Instead of

Dreamworx95 wrote:He wandered the cold streets of the village, not knowing where to begin.

put 'Not knowing where to begin, he wandered the cold streets of the village.'