Sorry guys! I've changed this story so many times it's not even funny! If you want to check it out, here's the link for the best version I have: post402233.html
Thanks so much!
Dream.
Dreamworx95 wrote:Okay so this is the first part of my first story that I've ever submitted. I'm still a little new at this so I guess could use all the help I can get. I'm very open minded and welcome all opinions. Feel free to tell me if there is something you don't like. Happy reading!
In a small and simple village called Shelton, there lived a sixteen year old boy named Clover. Clover was somewhat special, and not in a good way. He was clumsy and unpurposely caused trouble wherever he went. Clover always had the idea that he was somehow burdened, cursed. When Clover was born, his mother and father gave him up for adoption. He always wondered why they abandoned him. The orphanage Clover lived in didn’t feel much like a home. Whenever he sought to make friends with the other children, something always happened to make them hate him.
One time, he gathered the courage to approach a pretty girl he had his eye on. But as he drew near her, he didn’t see the banana peel in front of him. He tripped and the next thing he knew, he was on top of the pretty girl, staring at her shocked eyes. It wouldn’t have been so bad if they weren’t outside, and if the ground wasn’t muddy, and if she wasn’t wearing a new dress. The girl shrieked at him to get off of her and fussed over her ruined dress. Clover desperately tried to apologize but all she did was yell at him.
As a result of this incident, every other kid in the orphanage thought he was a freak and wouldn’t go anywhere near him. Consequently, Clover never made any friends. The grown ups weren’t much better than the children either. “Troublemaker,” was the word they used to describe him behind his back. They stared down at him in dislike whenever he walked by.
When Clover was ten, he finally made a friend. It was midnight, and everyone was asleep when a loud scream woke him up. He sat up and looked around in confusion, wondering where the scream came from. The rest of the boys in the dormitory were awake as well, mumbling groggily in irritation. They heard the scream again, and Clover realized it was coming from the girl’s dormitory. He rushed out alongside the other boys to see what was going on. Ms. Grouch, the bony woman who ran the orphanage, was already in the hallway wearing a hairnet and a bathrobe, barely awake.
“What’s-?” she began dazedly when she was cut off by another scream. The door to the girl’s dormitory flung open and a hoard of screaming girls streamed out, followed by a very small animal. The girls all cowered behind Ms. Grouch.
“What’s going on?” she demanded.
One of the girls pointed at the small brown animal, “R-r-rat!”
Ms. Grouch and the rest of the boys looked down at the tiny, rat-like animal. Clover bent down and looked closely at it.
“It’s not a rat,” he said, walking forward and picking it up, “It’s a hamster.”
The other boys all groaned in unified annoyance and walked back into the dorm, eager to get back to sleep. Meanwhile, all the girls stared at Clover in disgust.
“Ew! I can’t believe you’re touching it!” one of them shrieked.
Clover rolled his eyes, “It’s not like it’s going to hurt you.”
“I don’t care, it’s disgusting!” she hissed.
“Clover,” Ms. Grouch finally intervened, “Take it outside and get rid of it.”
He raised his eyebrows, “What do you mean ‘get rid of it’?”
“Drown it in the fountain or something.”
Clover’s jaw dropped, “You seriously expect me to-”
“Yes, I seriously expect you to!” she cut him off and glared at him.
“But it’s just a hamster!” he protested.
“Clover, I’m not going to ask you again!” she growled, “Go outside and get rid of it.”
So he had no choice but to take the brown hamster outside, but Clover had no intention of “getting rid of it” in Ms. Grouch’s definition. He stroked the hamster’s soft fur as he brought it out into the cool night air. It nibbled his fingers affectionately.
“Now what do I do with you?” Clover said to it. He picked the hamster up so they were face to face. It had a furry white face, dark little eyes and a tiny pink nose. Its whiskers twitched as it sniffed Clover’s fingers curiously.
“I don’t what they were so scared of,” he muttered, remembering how the girls squealed in fright when they saw the little hamster, “You don’t even look dangerous.”
Clover reached into his pocket and pulled out a cracker, crushing it into crumbs. The hamster eagerly munched away at the snack.
“Wow, you sure like to munch away at those crackers, don’t you?” Clover chuckled, “Alright then. I’m going to call you Munchie.”
And from that moment on, Clover finally had a companion. He inconspicuously carried Munchie around in his pocket, feeding him cheese, crackers, biscuits and bread crumbs. He was really amazed at how no one ever seemed to notice the small bulge in his pocket. When they were alone, Munchie would climb out and stand on Clover’s shoulder. They were inseparable, and Clover was glad to have a friend, whether it was a human or an animal. Finding Munchie seemed like the only good fortune Clover ever had.
Dreamworx95 wrote:Okay so this is the first part of my first story that I've ever submitted. I'm still a little new at this so I guess could use all the help I can get. I'm very open minded and welcome all opinions. Feel free to tell me if there is something you don't like. Happy reading!
In a small and simple village called Shelton, there lived a sixteen year old boy named Clover. Clover was somewhat special, and not in a good way. He was clumsy and unpurposely caused trouble wherever he went. Clover always had the idea that he was somehow burdened, cursed. When Clover was born, his mother and father gave him up for adoption. He always wondered why they abandoned him. The orphanage Clover lived in didn’t feel much like a home. Whenever he sought to make friends with the other children, something always happened to make them hate him.
One time, he gathered the courage to approach a pretty girl he had his eye on. But as he drew near her, he didn’t see the banana peel in front of him. He tripped and the next thing he knew, he was on top of the pretty girl, staring at her shocked eyes. It wouldn’t have been so bad if they weren’t outside, and if the ground wasn’t muddy, and if she wasn’t wearing a new dress. The girl shrieked at him to get off of her and fussed over her ruined dress. Clover desperately tried to apologize but all she did was yell at him.
As a result of this incident, every other kid in the orphanage thought he was a freak and wouldn’t go anywhere near him. Consequently, Clover never made any friends. The grown ups weren’t much better than the children either. “Troublemaker,” was the word they used to describe him behind his back. They stared down at him in dislike whenever he walked by.
When Clover was ten, he finally made a friend. It was midnight, and everyone was asleep when a loud scream woke him up. He sat up and looked around in confusion, wondering where the scream came from. The rest of the boys in the dormitory were awake as well, mumbling groggily in irritation. They heard the scream again, and Clover realized it was coming from the girl’s dormitory. He rushed out alongside the other boys to see what was going on. Ms. Grouch, the bony woman who ran the orphanage, was already in the hallway wearing a hairnet and a bathrobe, barely awake.
“What’s-?” she began dazedly when she was cut off by another scream. The door to the girl’s dormitory flung open and a hoard of screaming girls streamed out, followed by a very small animal. The girls all cowered behind Ms. Grouch.
“What’s going on?” she demanded.
One of the girls pointed at the small brown animal, “R-r-rat!”
Ms. Grouch and the rest of the boys looked down at the tiny, rat-like animal. Clover bent down and looked closely at it.
“It’s not a rat,” he said, walking forward and picking it up, “It’s a hamster.”
The other boys all groaned in unified annoyance and walked back into the dorm, eager to get back to sleep. Meanwhile, all the girls stared at Clover in disgust.
“Ew! I can’t believe you’re touching it!” one of them shrieked.
Clover rolled his eyes, “It’s not like it’s going to hurt you.”
“I don’t care, it’s disgusting!” she hissed.
“Clover,” Ms. Grouch finally intervened, “Take it outside and get rid of it.”
He raised his eyebrows, “What do you mean ‘get rid of it’?”
“Drown it in the fountain or something.”
Clover’s jaw dropped, “You seriously expect me to-”
“Yes, I seriously expect you to!” she cut him off and glared at him.
“But it’s just a hamster!” he protested.
“Clover, I’m not going to ask you again!” she growled, “Go outside and get rid of it.”
So he had no choice but to take the brown hamster outside, but Clover had no intention of “getting rid of it” in Ms. Grouch’s definition. He stroked the hamster’s soft fur as he brought it out into the cool night air. It nibbled his fingers affectionately.
“Now what do I do with you?” Clover said to it. He picked the hamster up so they were face to face. It had a furry white face, dark little eyes and a tiny pink nose. Its whiskers twitched as it sniffed Clover’s fingers curiously.
“I don’t what they were so scared of,” he muttered, remembering how the girls squealed in fright when they saw the little hamster, “You don’t even look dangerous.”
Clover reached into his pocket and pulled out a cracker, crushing it into crumbs. The hamster eagerly munched away at the snack.
“Wow, you sure like to munch away at those crackers, don’t you?” Clover chuckled, “Alright then. I’m going to call you Munchie.”
And from that moment on, Clover finally had a companion. He inconspicuously carried Munchie around in his pocket, feeding him cheese, crackers, biscuits and bread crumbs. He was really amazed at how no one ever seemed to notice the small bulge in his pocket. When they were alone, Munchie would climb out and stand on Clover’s shoulder. They were inseparable, and Clover was glad to have a friend, whether it was a human or an animal. Finding Munchie seemed like the only good fortune Clover ever had.
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