World War 1: Christmas 1914

I wrote this after finishing a book called:
Lord of the Nutcrackermen by Iain Lawrence (its realistic when it comes to history with a fantasy twist)

Christmas 1914

No other day can compare
When Fritzes and Tommies joined
In song and in prayer

The trenches stretched on
For miles and miles reminding us
Of those who were gone

A day remembered and often told
When stories crossed “No Man’s Land”
From the men who were bold

But the truce was soon broken
For the Generals’ orders
Must be obeyed when spoken

But all of Britain, all of Germany
Will never forget
The trust put in to many

For no other day can compare
When Fritzes and Tommies joined
In song and in prayer

jules4848 wrote:I wrote this after finishing a book called:
Lord of the Nutcrackermen by Iain Lawrence (its realistic when it comes to history with a fantasy twist)

Christmas 1914

No other day can compare
When Fritzes and Tommies joined
In song and in prayer
The trenches stretched on
For miles and miles reminding us
Of those who were gone

A day remembered and often told
When stories crossed “No Man’s Land”That really stood out to me
From the men who were bold

But the truce was soon broken
For the Generals’ orders
Must be obeyed when spoken

But all of Britain, all of Germany
Will never forget
The trust put in to many

For no other day can compare
When Fritzes and Tommies joined
In song and in prayer

I give this a 10/10 because you started and ended it with the same thing which made it sound insanely cool!
*Seriously I can't think of anything to correct. It's really good. Now I want to read that book.

i loved this poem i also think it was a good idea with the opening being the same as the ending, i found this poem is very readable i have to bye this book


Good job! 10/10

This was an interesting idea and a good topic.
I once wrote a short piece of prose about this topic, so I can understand why you wanted to write a poem about it.
The rhymng was good and not too over the top but for me the rhythm wasn't quite right. I don't think you need to bother changing it, as it wasn't drastically wrong. I just though it should flow a litte more because it seems slow, although slow is a good tempo for this type of poem.

All in all 9 /10 as it was really good, but it didn't tell me anyhing new and to be honest and didn't get my emotions flowing etc.
That book sounds very cool, I might read it.

Good work.

thanks for the advice

The books isnt all just about the christmas but it is a big part of the story.
although it is good its a little slow but it still tells you about the war

the fantasy twist is that whatever the main character does to his nutcrackermen seems to happen in the war

plus there is a mystery of an unknown soldier wondering around

its a decent book and the fact that Christmas created a break in the war amazed me thats why i like the book so much