An Ode to My Fabulous Mother

Kind of weird mood this morning after my mom said some horrible things to me....

------
An Ode to My Fabulous Mother

You always know what to say
To make me feel horrible
You taught me to get my priorities strait,
Image first, happiness last.

You never fail to show your remorse
For the way I turned out,
You don’t want to be my friend,
But you want to be my confidant.

Do you realize how you’ve messed us up?
You’re side comments decompose
Our small amount of self esteem
Your advice kills us;

Keep everything inside,
Don’t let anyone see how miserable we are,
Be the happiest people on the planet,
Mask your pain with our materialistic values.

Don’t worry mom, never say you’re sorry,
You’re always right; you’re the best person ever.
We don’t care that you look through our stuff,
Or criticize our every move.

We want to be just like you,
Our princess mom.
You’re amazing,
And no one can tell you otherwise.

Please grace us with your
Ice kisses and hugs that lack emotion.
Why don’t you just admit you failed?
You make it very clear you don’t like us.

But don’t worry about us,
You’re the best mom in the world,
And no one can tell you otherwise.

Don’t be us pet when you find
This in an empty room.
Maybe you’ll find me one day.
Just look for the girl who turned out just like you,

That’ll be me.
I’ll be the new princess mom,
I’ll be just like you,
It’s inevitable.

How very passionate! You have definitely invested a lot of yourself into this poem...It isn't really an ode though (just to be an annoying cretin ). You certainly have a good understanding of literary devices but they seem somewhat disordered - as if you know of them but not how to use them; which is unsettling. You also have a very competent and colourful use of language within this poem (I'm very impressed )

dommy65 wrote:
Do you realize how you’ve messed us up?
You’re side comments decompose
Our small amount of self esteem
Your advice kills us; the semicolon feels weird, a nice full stop would be better

The semi colon really throws that stanza out of balance. It ruins the pattern that runs through the rest of the piece. However, if evoking a feeling of discomfort within the reader, was your intention then BRAVO! but it is very hard to tell...so i will critique and congratulate to be safe

That’ll be me.
I’ll be the new princess mom,
I’ll be just like you,
It’s inevitable.

Over all I'd say that this is a good poem. Yes, it seems a little disordered and slap - dash...Perhaps this is the source of it's intensity! Who knows, either way i liked it

Very well done! Bravo
Love
Kris
x

Dear Kris,

Thanks so much for reviewing my poem! And i totally understand the whole Ode part, it doesn't make sense at all considering the poem, hehe. Thanks again.

~Dommy

This just oozes sarcasm! I love it.

To tell you the truth, at first, I didn't like the title. I thought it was too blunt. But now that I've read the poem, I love the title. It fits so well!

Don’t be us pet when you find

Upset?

Please grace us with your
Ice kisses and hugs that lack emotion.
Why don’t you just admit you failed?
You make it very clear you don’t like us.

My favorite stanza! Although I don't like the last two lines. It doesn't fit with the whole sarcasm... And I love the sarcasm!

That was a nice ending. It brought a nice sense closure. Bravo.

Hope to see more of you!

What a hard hitting poem! I noticed some mistakes, but they've already been quoted so I won't bother repeating it ^_^

What I want to say is: you got across the feelings of resentment well, it was very dramatic and sort of teenagerish, but that's exactly the feeling you meant to show - you did it just right. It really is written as though you wrote it while very angry, and I think that's probably why it's so effective - you can feel the anger and resentment running through it.

Thanks so much to you guys who reviewed this. I fixed all of the mistakes you stated. Thanks for that, I'm not really sure about all the rules of poetry so you have helped me a lot!
~dommy

My eyes started tearing up when reading this. There is so much emotion in this poem, such heart wrenching visualzation.

When you said "Ice kisses and hugs that lack emotion" I just about died.

Just incredible, amazing. *claps* Fabulous work.

Curlyqpride,
Wow. thanks for that comment. I'm just choked up right now that it actually affected you like that, I didn't know it could do that. Thanks doesn't even cover it, but i can't think of another way to put it so I'll say it again. Thanks so much. You have no idea how much that means to me.
~Dommy

I really liked this. I can see the passion that you have in writing this ode. It kinda hits in the chest. That's what I want to see in literature.

Great job!

Keep writing!

~Casey the AWESOME