What to write?

I cannot think of what to write.
Could you imagine such a fright?
I hope I think of something soon,
Or I'll turn into a big loon!
I should brainstorm or start a graph.
If it comes out bad, please don't laugh.
Oh look at this! What has become?
A poem! Maybe I'm not dumb.

straight up, homie G! trippin poem. its funny to. quik tip, review 2 writings quik, or else you'll have to write four and we know how much fun that is write.

superb capitalazation and grammer. also, you might be thinkin of another type of loon.


webster says

loon- a type of northern american bird.

lune- someone nuts/ crazy. like your twin sister.


anyways. great

Welcome to YWS!
by the way, hobbes is right. you need to post 2 reviews quick before the mods get you. if you already did, then they weren't long enough.
ok
the poem was alright. your rhyming was accurate and your rythm was smooth.
all in all a pretty good piece.
Keep Writing!


-GC10

That was cute. Personally, I despise it when I end up writing poems about not being able to write a poem. It hurts my head.

But yeah...

Oh look at this! What has become?
A poem! Maybe I'm not dumb.

That little bit there bothers me a bit. Especially the part "What has become?". But maybe it's just me, it just seems a bit forced. But over all, good stuff.

good job.... that was a little weird, but hey, whats new with you twinzies. i think next time you might want to try having a subject... oh well good luck in future writings!

Over all the poem was ok, but that's it. Just your run of the mill poem. nothing special, nothing grand. It's just so plain. Do i need to go on? I'm not saying it's bad, there just isn't anything to it.

You have potential, you clearly know how to rhyme, and you seem to have writers block like all of us but next time you write a poem I want to see something AMAZING

Let me know when you make it.

well it was a nice poem. it was fun to read and writers block can be such a pain!!i dont really feel anything when i read this poem. it is plain and it may not have anything that 'wows' you but it made me smile and it has potential. you have potential and expect great things to come from you. good luck and keep writing!

It's cute and funny, so I think you've done your job! It's nice to read poetry on here that's not...*wristslash and shards*

Your main problem is the rhythm. I love the way this reminds me of Dr. Seuss, but when you've got rhythm problems, it just makes the reader uncomfortable because it's difficult to read!

Example:

I CANnot THINK of WHAT to WRITE.
Could YOU iMAGine SUCH a FRIGHT?
I HOPE I THINK of SOMEthing SOON,
Or I'LL turn INto a big LOON!

Okay, for this stanza I capitalized all the stressed syllables. For the first three lines you definitely have the pattern down, and you can probably tell that because of the ease with which you can read it. But then you get to the last line. It's sketchy. What do you stress? The stresses don't come naturally because this line isn't like the others. Your reader has to do a double-take, change the stresses to fit the pattern, and it doesn't sound natural. The same is true for the following line, which has too many syllables!

The best way to identify rhythm problems is to read aloud, or to have someone who's never read the piece before read it aloud, because they'll stumble over the problem areas.

-Colleen

I really like the idea of this poem, the whole "How do you write a whole poem? BAM! There it is!" ^_^ To that extent, this poem works very well. Just try not to go too far out into randomness, like "I'll turn into a big loon!" Try to keep the thought process centered on the writers' block, maybe.

Happy writing!

XD nice poem dude that was awesome.....you started off like saying that you couldn't think of anything to write and in the end it became your poem......excellentness right there man i mean keep up the friekin awesome work lol....that was amusing to read and it made me laugh too.......hope to see you around here on yws dude KEEP UP THE SWEETNESS WORK lol





-Uo the lady in grey

Very nice poem. It's kind of along the lines of mine. Except mine is titled "My Life As A Non Writer"
Personally I like this one better than mine in some places.

A poem! Maybe I'm not dumb.

I like this last line, but maybe instead of an exclamation point enter a comma. It's fine that way too.

I should brainstorm or start a graph.
If it comes out bad, please don't laugh.

This line is my favorite. It reminds me of when a student doesn't their hand to read their story in front of the class, but the teacher volunteers them. And maybe he/she will be hoping the class won't laugh at their poem.

I'm not exactly sure why that pops into my head, but its just like that.
Great Poem!

LOL! This is so Shel Silversteen, which is amazing because he is my faviest poet, and for awhile I didn't know it!!


*hi fives* Loved it! Made me smile! Awesomeness! Thanks for the good read! -Curly

nice poem. I love the last couple lines.

The one part you said " turn into a big loon"
I think that's a little random. You should start to think of something a little more. . . not random.

but still, it's better then i could ever do. nice job

short but sweet! lol
rythm was a bit funny in some places but I'm rubbish at poetry so I can't talk!
funny little poem!

Good job, very funny. I liked the last 2 lines IDK why though, I gues it's just appeals to me somehow. I wrote something about the same subject. The I can't figure out what to write so i'm just going to make up a poem about it, as I call it. I think you ment to spell loon as lune though.