Young Writers Society

When I look

Upon your face,

I see a melancholy woman

Who has never stood

For the right causes.

When I look

Upon your face,

I see a mediocre mind

Trying to impress

Itself upon others.

When I look

Upon your face,

I see a person

Who has stopped feeling

Empathy for others;

I see a selfish

Little brat.

But, most of all,

When I look

Upon your face,

I see a scared

Little girl who only

Wants to find

Her way back home.

Wow, this was intense. I felt the emotion, the I don't know what to call it. It just was and that's hope poems should be. It wasn't traditional it just talked about a person(that maybe you know too well.) All in all, Good Job.

this was really deep. i felt the emotions rushing forward and all that good stuff. there's not much else to say about this piece. as the reviewer prior to me stated: it just was and it still is.


nice poem. i really liked this. keep up the good work!

Great choice of words. Good work. I really felt it, and the posts above state it very well. Its a nice piece.

Thank you all very, very much.

I'm overjoyed that you appreciated this.

I liked this a lot - it was very poignant, even though you kept it brief. All the words/phrases seemed well chosen and it worked well. There's nothing more to say really except keep writing and I hope that all your work is this good.

Bkwrm

I liked this poem. I could feel the emotion and understand the feelings. Ver nice choice in words. It made it short and simple. Great job!

Becca

Bravo! Hehe, I like to say that. It reminds me of the Pantom of the Opera.

I really liked this, it reminded me of the self centered popular girl who gets everything and anything she wants. The one who's mean to everyone and thinks she's better. But she only does the stuff she does because she's insecure and unloved.

That was so lame of me, but anyway. It's midnight and I'm tired and I need some points so once again...

Awesome! Keep up the good work!

PEACE!

-Ailam

That's an impressive poem. Deep thought and emotions really came up.
You chose such impressive wors, they fit so well you're a great writer/poet. The repetition fits perfectly, and its a good length and includes so much, but is very light on and not a very hard read.

Has to be one of the better poem's i've read on here.

It's so deep and meaningul, very easy to follow and imagine as a personal experience. I definitely can relate to parts.

Woah!

Deep. Very deep. Very intense.

The ending was wonderful and powerful. Although I don't like the repeating phrase "When I look upon your face...". But that's just me.

Bravo! You'll be getting another gold star, mister.

Wow, that was really good, and very accurate. It's definatly what you see when you look around at the shallow people that surround you in today's society, at least that's what the poem makes me think of lol. Yeah I like the structure of the poem and the repetitive string that kind of starts out each segment, so to speak. Very good.

This poem is filled with emotion with a very different twist on the comparison. Great job!