Modern Penelope of Odysseus part 4

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"Lina." Lily called. She admired a gentle expression of sleeping Celina. It wasn't just a happy dream she was seeing, but another side of her lately quick-tempered character. The lady slowly opened her eyes.

"Ahhh. Good morning. What's the hurry?"

"It's 11 and..."

"Common, wake up and get ready while me and Lily still have the patience to wait for ya. We are going out to lunch." A storm of confidence intruded cautious Lily.

"Wow. I missed half a day. I'll be up, Laura."

They sat in an Italian restaurant. before the waiter even brought bread sticks, Laura migrated to her group of friends that coincidentally also went there. Celina shrugged at the confused Lily,

"Don't worry. You know how famous she is. It's better than having all those people sit with us."

"I guess you are right." She slipped her finger up to fix the glasses again. "So let's order something."

Steaming spaghetti graced in front of both Celina, and Lily, the only difference was that Celina's had meatballs and Parmesan cheese, while Lily Ane replaced that with salad. In a moment when both were not eating, the dark haired girl took her chance,

"Go on, say it. I've seen that look on your face like you want to say something important since the moment you woke me up."

"Wow, you guessed it right. I didn't think it was that noticeable...Can I trust you?"

"Yes, unlike to you! I am just kidding, I don't blame you about the 'Deniss thing'."

the girl in glasses took a big gulp at hearing the name Deniss and almost choked.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes...you heard about that already?"

"I don't know what you are talking about, but I meant when you told Laura about me going over to Deniss' place even though I asked you not to."

"Oh" she signed,"Good. Well, just like you, I am afraid of false rumors being spread. Do you think they'll hear?"

"No. They're too loud to even hear themselves."

"Ok I won't hesitate this time to say it. I am really attracted to Deniss."

"Oh boy, that's not good. You know how many girls like him? Now it's you too."

"But how is liking him so bad? He's gorgeous, smart, and so friendly!"

"Oh yes, and I thought so too at first, but when you are one on one with him he becomes demanding and puts you into helpless position. he makes you feel like a victim."

"I am almost can't believe myself, but I want him!"

"Oh, Lily, please! Don't go there, I assure you it's the wrong choice. You don't need this. I hope this 'feeling' of yours goes away soon."

"I guess time will tell us, but until then, I plan on doing a makeover."

"Lily, wake up! This is outrageous, someone must have changed you."

Lightened up Lady in glasses, which didn't suit her well now, nodded, strangely smiling.

"Alright then...Let's get out of here."

Celina could only wait so long, as soon as they distanced from the noise, she burst out.

"Now, whatever you do, I can't stop you, but I am worried and I want you to consider my perspective on this. If you want to change, fine, but getting together with him will be a change for the worse."

"You are right. You can't stop me. And in some cases love overrides everything."

"I doubt it's love, someone must have pushed you to do this...I mean a makeover? Were you reading the magazines or something?
"You don't even want to understand, you just assume. Maybe I've loved him all long. And it's finally time to act, maybe I can't just sit there and study my whole life!" Her voice slightly cracked and eyes filled with tears she quickly wiped away, before walking away back to the restaurant with head up high.

"I hope Laura and her friends keep you a good company" Celina added, but Lily Ane didn't look back.

Not realizing what just happened between her and Lily, Celina went on with things she regularly did anyways.
Last edited by lluvialover on Sun Apr 11, 2010 5:37 am, edited 2 times in total.




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I liked it. I did notice a few things though.

Common,
Come on

before
Capitalize the first letter of the word.

Celina, and
No comma.

the only difference was that
Maybe try "...the only difference being..."

chance,
No comma.

unlike to
Take out 'to'

the
Capitalize the first letter of the word.

Oh
Period.

signed,
Sighed? No comma.

Ok
Comma.

he makes you
Capitalize the first letter in the first word.

Lightened up Lady in glasses
I don't understand this.

love, someone
Semi-colon.

act, maybe
Semi-colon.

good company
Period.

anyways
Anyway.

Other than that, you did a good job. :)
Meshugenah says to (18:12:36):
Kat's my new favorite. other than Sachi.

WWJD: What Would Jabber Do?



When we are children we seldom think of the future. This innocence leaves us free to enjoy ourselves as few adults can. The day we fret about the future is the day we leave our childhood behind.
— Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind