Rules of Writing (True-ish)

Found these via stumble:

Professor Jay's Rules for Funny Writers
__________________________
1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually)
unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used unless you don't want to seem too formal.

More here

*giggles*

7. Be more or less specific.

Haha

Lol, I found these. I disagree with them, hehe.

Well, the rules themselves are good, but his method of using them could be better. The way he uses the 'don't' rules within the rules is funny though. Makes it easy to understand why you don't want to do these things.

Though, I don't quite agree with number 11:

11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used unless you don't want to seem too formal.

While it's true for essay writing, it looks too weird not to have contractions in fiction writing.

Lol, this made me laugh too. XD I bookmarked it and everything 'cause I love it so much.

11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used unless you don't want to seem too formal.

While it's true for essay writing, it looks too weird not to have contractions in fiction writing.

Actually, that can be argued. It really depends on what time period [or whatever] you're writing. Use of language in narration can definitely set the mood or... setting, maybe, of the story?

I'm not very good with debates and explanations, but it can be argued. ^^

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.

This one killed me. The first one, and when I read it, I was practically murdered. I was so confused, but then I started reading; and all was well. xD

Jabber, the One and Only!

(number eleven is making my brain hurt.)

*chuckles* These are amusing.

-:pirate3:

Here's another one I remember from a magazine I get:

Abbreviations, cut speech, ect. isn't nessesary.

These are great! Good job!

I found these ages ago and actually put them up here on YWS.

I've seen some of these before. I didn't know there were so many.

3, 6, 10, and 11 are wrong.

Unless we're speaking strictly about essay writing.

Prokaryote

I love this. Number 7 is the best. My English teacher could use them...

number 1 made my brain hurt. But yes these are quite amusing!

*snortgiggle*

Very nice. Those are going over my desk.

I think 2 would be my personal favorite. That is always something I have trouble with.