Poisoned Roses--Chapter 2

ashleylee · 2008-06-07T19:56:26Z

This is rough, let me warn you, so I need all the help I can get. Harsh reviews are welcome! :wink: Well, I hope you all enjoy it! **Edited as of Sept. 15** ____________________________________________________________________________________ CHAPTER TWO I take in a shuddering breath, crossing my arms tight across my chest. Carmen’s face is imprinted in my mind: his dark, flat eyes and furious expression. Why do I always have to defy the odds of nature? Why do I always have to be different? I ask myself, Curse my Birth Mother! I turn off the paved road and onto a gravel driveway, keeping my eyes trained on my surroundings. The driveway is lined with thick pines heavy with snow-covered needles. They droop and graze my head as I walk beneath them. Their heavily sweet scent calms my nerves, reminding me of Michael with each step I take. Eventually, I spot the elderly Victorian-style home resting just off the gravel driveway. Its wrap-around porch is chipped, and the shudders are an inky black, drastically contrasting with the off-white of the entire house. It has three stories, and all the rooms are dark. Not one light is shimmering, and I feel despair rising in me. Carmen has already alerted Philip. My foot lands on the cobblestone walkway, and I am instantly surrounded. They appear out of no where and encircle me, arms reaching out to leave no place to escape. I don’t try to run. I know my fate. The group is a mixture of sisters and brothers all in our family’s Council. Philip is directly opposite from me. His jeans are ripped on one knee and his shirt is a button-up tee bleached white, making his skin look ruddy against the glaring whiteness of the snow. His hair is a dark brown, spiked with gel, his forehead wide. A shelf of thick eyebrows line eyes that are a striking hazel, blazing with frustration. “Carmen tells us that you and him had a little… misunderstanding .” Philips voice is soft, gentle, like a smooth flowing river. He easily can get whatever he wants out of us with just a glance from his eyes and a soft persuasion uttered from his lips. I swallow. “It was a little more than a misunderstanding…” “So I’ve heard.” His eyes narrow. “I think you better come inside.” I nod and follow him, the rest of the Council ensuing closely behind. Philip leads me to the Council’s office near the back of house. I see no one else littering the hallways. I guess Philip has warned everyone to steer clear of the area until after the meeting. I gulp and hear a fellow sister snicker at me from behind. I whip my head around, my eyes taking on a scorching intensity. I recognize her, but my mind struggles to come up with a name. Her tawny-colored hair is coiled tight around her head and her face is pinched and slightly heart-shaped. She doesn’t back down when I snarl, and Philip immediately senses the tension. “Sophia, that is enough!” he scolds. I quickly face the front again and hear the sister give a satisfied sigh. In the Council’s office, I am directed to the chair directly across from Philip’s chair. The others file in behind us, taking random seats scattered around the small space. I feel cramped and shift uncomfortably. It isn’t the first time I have occupied this chair and yet it is just as mortifying as the first time. Everybody’s’ eyes rest on me their judgmental glares boring into my spine. My foot twitches anxiously as I concentrate on my fingernails. “You know why you are here.” Philip’s voice rings out throughout the room, calling everyone to attention. He perches on the edge of his seat, his elbows resting on his knees, and his hands clasped together beneath his chin. I nod, carefully avoiding his eyes. “So…” His eyes shift to the others around us before returning to me. “You know the rules, and yet you seem to defy them.” “What did Carmen tell you?” I wonder suddenly. It is clear that Philip has only heard one side of the story. “Enough to understand what happened,” Philip answers, a hint of authority slipping into his voice. “I don’t need to hear both sides of the story to get a clear picture.” I frown but say no more. We gaze at each other for another moment before he speaks again. “You specifically know the rules about confrontation, having already gotten in trouble with it before.” My expression is mutinous, but his face stays placid. “You know your very last actions were… questionable .” I can’t believe that he is bringing it up! I can’t believe that he is speaking out about my deadly mistake in front of the whole Council! It’s not like they don’t already know… a silky voice whispers in my ear. I take in a shuddering breath, struggling to keep my emotions in check. I have nothing to say to that, clamping my teeth together. He continues, “You are lucky that the Council decided as we did. Otherwise you would be on the streets or worse.” “You mean dead?” I challenge. “You know the consequences for your actions.” His eyes flicker with contempt. “It was a mistake,” I whisper, not meeting his gaze. “A mistake!” a voice shrieks, and other voices chime in. I turn to meet the same female that had snickered at me. Her eyes are cold—a flat black. I cringe away. It is still unsettling when our emotions are strong enough for our eyes to change. This sister must really hate me for my previous behavior. And why wouldn’t she? I…killed a man….didn’t I? I shiver and turn back to Philip, who is watching me closely. “Enough, Rebecca,” he scolds without looking at her, keeping his eyes trained on me. I smile, now remembering the female behind me. She had been changed only a few years before me. “Now, I’m going to let you off the hook this time but—“ “Philip! You can’t be serious!” Rebecca shouts, jumping to her feet. Philip’s eyes flicker to her. “I am serious.” “B-but she shouldn’t even be alive right now!” My stomach flips, and Philip stands slowly, his eyes overpowering Rebecca until she is forced to sit. “We decided as a group to allow Sophia to live,” Philip reminds her with a stern glare. “That doesn’t mean that all of us believe that that was the best decision,” she replies and a silence descends on the group. I feel my face drain of color and intertwine my fingers, squeezing them together to keep my emotions from showing. I can’t afford another slip-up. Philip keeps his eyes on Rebecca but speaks to the room. “This meeting is over. Rebecca, please wait here for me.” Then he sweeps from the room, I right on his heels. I watch as he disappears to the basement. I, however, take the stairs to my bedroom. When I reach the third landing, another female appears out of the gloom. I start, and she smiles, her brilliantly white teeth flashing. Her scent is that of tulips in the heat of spring. I clutch at my chest and sigh. “Nora, you scared me!” I exclaim, and my friend chuckles. “I was listening through the vents,” she tells me, and I groan. “Do you always have to eavesdrop?” I ask her, stomping into the room we share. Nora ignores my question. “It sounds like Rebecca is in a lot of trouble. Want to listen?” Her smile is wide, and her eyes are a bright purple, the shade they turn when she is beyond ecstatic. I shrug. “Not really. I’m in enough trouble as it is.” I curl up on my bed, facing the wall. “Come on, Sophia. You used to love spying on Philip,” Nora pouts, the bed creaking as she sits beside me. “Not since…” I trail off, and Nora stiffens beside me. I bury my face in my pillow. I feel Nora’s hand sweep the hair from my face. “Everyone slips up, Sophia.” “Have you?” I demand, turning to stare at her. Nora shakes her head. “But you are young.” “That’s no excuse,” I grumble, hating myself—hating what I have become. “Except for the genes I have been given,” I whisper as an afterthought. Nora growls. “Sophia, your Birth Mother was a great woman.” “Not from what I have heard. She died during my change…I never even knew her; I didn’t even know her name! Yet, all I hear about her is how I am weak like her, stupid like her.” “Who says these things?” Nora demands. “Nobody…never mind.” I roll over further, ending the conversation. Nora sighs. “Well, if you choose to join me, I’ll be at the vents.” And with that, she strolls from the room, her blanket of auburn hair floating behind her like a glaring red flag. I let my eyes fall close, concentrating on my breathing. Flashes of that unforgettable night flickers through my mind. I fight against it, fear gripping me, but the memory is too strong and I slip under the waves of consciousness… The night was thick, the blackest of blacks. The moon was no where to be found and few stars littered the sky. Anger rushed freely through my veins. My eyes were as black as the night and dilated with hunger. I had refused to dine on the deer Philip and his hunting party had stumbled upon. I was stupid and defiant. Carmen had asked me to be his just hours before. He had confessed his love for me. I remember the humiliation I had felt when he had proclaimed this in front of Nate and Dover. I had turned him down, all to aware that my feelings for him were more towards the friendship side. Now I was starting to regret it. A cold wind lifted the hair off of my shoulders, and I raised my face to the heavens. The trees swayed, pine needles breaking off and whirling in a cloud of dust kicked up by my shoes. Gooseflesh rose on my skin as I spun slowly around, my feet creating tiny circles in the gravel. That’s when I smelt it. The scent was the strongest I had ever smelt. It was tangy mixed with the booze the human had consumed. I could taste the beer on my tongue and the sweat of him as he wove through the forest, mumbling to himself. I felt my body crouch. I tried to fight the immense hunger washing over me, but my thirst was too strong, my anger too overwhelming. I tracked him, following him as he walked further and further away from civilization. I didn’t want my fellow family members finding him, being greedy and wanting him all for myself. I was careful and diligent, keeping away from the house unless someone peeked through the windows and discovered me tracking this human, which is completely off limits. The human was clearly indisposed as he ran straight into a tree. I couldn’t see his face clearly because of the thick cover of night, but I could smell him. Oh, how I could smell. He made my palms perspire just imagining how he would taste. Finally, I could hold off no longer. I stepped from the bushes just in front of him. He started, his eyes squinting in the gloom. At first, he thought I was an apparition, a side effect of too much liquor. Abruptly, he started screaming “ghost”. I watched him run, giving him a head start. It was only fair. Then I gave chase, easily catching him. He started shrieking unintelligible sounds. I wanted to savor him but he was making too much noise; it made me nervous. So with one bite, it was finished and he was mine… Oh, he had tasted so good just like I had imagined. His blood was thick and ran with beer. I drained him of every last drop until he was cold underneath my touch. That’s when I heard the first sounds. My family must have heard his screams. I had panicked and quickly took it upon myself to hide him. I ran and found a nearby cave, shoving his body inside. Thinking that would suffice, I escaped into the night. I come back with a jolt, my whole body trembling violently. I quickly pull the covers over my head, burying deep into the plush mattress. I can do nothing to shake the memory away, no matter how hard I try. I can see his face imprinted in my mind—distorted with fear, his mouth wide in a silent scream. He had been dark of skin with caramel-colored eyes and thick, curly hair. I had run my fingers through it as I had drank, loving how silky it felt against my fingertips. He had tasted wonderful. I had savored him, licked him dry. I shiver, remembering just how good he had tasted. I am truly a monster . I sleep restlessly that night. I can hear Nora in the adjacent room visiting a friend, her high-pitched laughter penetrating the thin walls of the house. I cover my head with a pillow, but it does no use. Her voice continues to come through, and I hear a manly chuckle combined with hers. I know almost immediately whose it is. His voice is unmistakable—so familiar to me. My stomach twists painfully, remembering how he used to spend hours with me in this very room, holding me and stroking my face, telling me over and over again how much he cared for me. I sit up, rubbing my eyes as Carmen laughs throatily at something witty Nora has said. And yet, I don’t miss him for the reason I should. I don’t miss him because I feel the same love for him. I miss him because he had been my lone friend. He had been the one I could tell everything to, express my deepest, darkest desires without the fear of him telling a soul. Now he is gone.

ashleylee

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Sat Aug 16, 2008 12:36 am

ashleylee says... · Sat Aug 16, 2008 12:36 am

estead:

Yeah, grammar is not my best either so no harm there :wink:

With Philip, I'm want him to be silent but also be a leader they look up to. Hopefully that will come across more the further my chapters go. But I'll go back and work on that more in this chapter.

The kill thing was a big no-no. You'll see why in later installments, but they are kind of the typical vampire. (sorry *cringes* I know that sounds bad) They don't kill humans. But hopefully that doesn't make them too sterotypical. I did try making them unique! :wink:

Well, thanks for reading and I promise to keep writing!

"Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love—and to put his trust in life."
~ Joseph Conrad

"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
~ Red Auerbach

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lucyy

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Mon Aug 18, 2008 1:41 pm

lucyy says... · Mon Aug 18, 2008 1:41 pm

Wow I'm really enjoying this (I seem to be using these words alot!)
I am seriously transfixed, I can't dstop reading the chapters!! You have a page-turner of a story here

I love the way their eyes change colour with emotion .. very unique!! I haven't heard of that before, which is great, you're definately making your vampires your own

Off top read the next chapter ...
Lucyy xx

"Don't think, or judge. Just Listen."

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ashleylee

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Wed Aug 20, 2008 1:12 pm

ashleylee says... · Wed Aug 20, 2008 1:12 pm

lucyy:

Your comments just make my day! I love coming onto YWS and seeing a review by you! It just brightens my mood!

I just can't thank you enough for taking the time to read all of these chapters. It means a lot!

"Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love—and to put his trust in life."
~ Joseph Conrad

"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
~ Red Auerbach

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ashleylee

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Mon Sep 15, 2008 11:51 pm

ashleylee says... · Mon Sep 15, 2008 11:51 pm

*edited*

"Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love—and to put his trust in life."
~ Joseph Conrad

"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
~ Red Auerbach

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Night Mistress

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Wed Sep 17, 2008 2:54 pm

Night Mistress says... · Wed Sep 17, 2008 2:54 pm

wow, ash.

as i said befoe in the other chapters, better than before.

i like the part about sophia's birth mother. will we ever get to meet her in the future chapter?

and re-reading this part makes me sad that sophia has lost carme, even thought she has turn him down.

"I love you," she whispered in his ear, before taking his mouth with her own.

~Elizzabeth Grey of Addicting Posion

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ashleylee

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Wed Sep 17, 2008 4:06 pm

ashleylee says... · Wed Sep 17, 2008 4:06 pm

Night Mistress:

Yeah, the Birth Mother will definitely be emphasized more. I wanted that to be a bigger part of Sophia's history.

I'm glad you enjoyed this.

I'll keep you posted for future rewrites. :wink:

Thanks so much, Bri!

"Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love—and to put his trust in life."
~ Joseph Conrad

"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
~ Red Auerbach

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Angel of Death

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Sun Sep 21, 2008 4:03 pm

Angel of Death says... · Sun Sep 21, 2008 4:03 pm

Hey Ash,

I loved this chapter! Everything is just getting better and better! Your descriptions and the way Sophia is portrayed is just magnificent. The flashback was my favorite part because it shows she has a conscious, which is good. Your characters are really fleshing out and hopefully there'll be some type of conflict because I sorta feel it coming. Can't wait to read the next chapter.
Happy Writing,
-Angel

True love, in all it’s celestial charm, and
star-crossed ways, only exist in a writer’s
mind, for humans have not yet learned
how to manifest it.

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ashleylee

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Sun Sep 21, 2008 4:48 pm

ashleylee says... · Sun Sep 21, 2008 4:48 pm

Angel of Death:

Thanks!

You are too nice!

Yeah, this chapter was really were I started distinguishing my chapter away from other vampire books. Hopefully that was achieved :wink:

Thanks again for reading!

"Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love—and to put his trust in life."
~ Joseph Conrad

"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
~ Red Auerbach

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FreakyDoo12

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Thu Oct 09, 2008 11:59 am

FreakyDoo12 says... · Thu Oct 09, 2008 11:59 am

C'est bon

Scared are you?

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ashleylee

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Fri Oct 10, 2008 4:14 pm

ashleylee says... · Fri Oct 10, 2008 4:14 pm

FreakyDoo12:

You are so lucky my friend knows french...otherwise I would have been clueless to what you said. :wink:

But thanks! I'm glad you thought it was good.

"Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love—and to put his trust in life."
~ Joseph Conrad

"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
~ Red Auerbach

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KJ

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Mon Oct 20, 2008 3:56 pm

KJ says... · Mon Oct 20, 2008 3:56 pm

CHAPTER TWO: I don't understand why Sophia gets in such big trouble. She didn't even DO anything. You should explain this better.

Oh, and something I forgot to mention last chapter. Too many "you are" and "we will"s. This is modern day and, vampire or not, they'll pick up on modern day language.

And to the memory: If she's so consumed by instinct and desire, then there should be no logic there. Sophia shouldn't be thinking of her family finding the body, or of fairness to the human.

AND I HATE THAT CARMEN HAS MOVED ON! NOOOOO!

By the way, your characters are great - just feel so real

THe scene with Philip is also well done.

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