I Might Weave a Wondrous Web

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I might weave a wondrous web
Of silky lexicon,
Or blossom thoughts like flowers full—
Ideas from a bud—

But spidery homes are better yet
In deigned complexity,
And daisies are a miracle:
What’s poetry to these!

Hullo Twiggy. ^_^


Oy, no doubt it is very Dickinson--in its form inarguably, but as well as in the language and the simple contemplation. And in its similarity to Dickinson, it has a graceful brevity to it.

I might weave a wondrous web
Of silky lexicon,
Or blossom thoughts like flowers full—
Ideas from a bud—

Though 'lexicon' first struck me as an odd word choice, a bit awkward (it is the only noticeably Latin-derivative in the first stanza) its syllabic count is apt for the meter and rhythm.

And the stanza is lovely, in its direct image, without being blunt. ^_^


The second stanza, though still pretty in its wording, seems less complete. It doesn't weave its idea as well with its words.

But spidery homes are better yet
In deigned complexity,
And daisies are a miracle:
What’s poetry to these!

From 'bud' to 'spidery homes'--a jump from the plain or less complex, to woven webs then?

And yet, what is 'deigned complexity'? How does complexity connect to the idea that daisies are a miracle, that blossoms come from a simple bud?

Oy, the finish is apt. Dickinson-ian, again. ^_^ But the path to it seems broken. If the complex is better, why are daisies worthy of praise? Is poetry the complexity, or is it simple? And if it is simple, how is it not equated with the daisies, rather than equated with what is too much, or complex?

In the end, you've lovely words. And the form and sound is honestly like Dickinson--enough that it's charming without seeming trite or ripped-off. But I think its point needs to stand on a clearer idea. ^_^


If you've questions, feel free to ask, or PM me. Even as it is, I enjoyed the poem--but I think it could be neater and more deft yet.




IMP

Hehe, love the title. Very...webby. So Poor Imp has pretty much outlined my problem- there's a strange word choice here and there, but then again, this is quite a peculiar poem. However I liked it a lot. It really seems like you had fun writing it and it's enjoyable to read and accept on many levels. For me it seemed that you were comparing the beauty and simpilicty of a daisy to the complexity of a spider's web- and related them both back to poetry. Ba- that came out all stupid but what I'm trying to say is that I understand where you're coming from. In any case it was a piece rich in imagery and the poetic voice was great. I especially loved the end:

What’s poetry to these!

And what is poetry to the rest of us? A rhetorical question perhaps? XD

Nice work and keep it up!

Eimear