Beautifully written with great comparisons. You really do have a talent here.
You're silver plated, too.
Oh, how you shined when we met
but underneath, you were a rusty nail
trying to give me lockjaw with your fists.
These first two lines here really pull me into the stanza, and the last two make it seem even more poetic.
With a knife I can peel skin, remove veins,
and keep going until I find something brighter
than blood, more meaningful
than a soul, more real than pain itself.
My epitheliums won't know what sliced them.
'Peel' sounds... a little grotesque -which is fine if you like it. But, I think 'slice' would relate back to the beginning with 'knife' better. Of course then you'd be repeating it in the last line. But you could always change '...won't know what cut sliced them.' to 'cut' instead.
What a beautiful poem! Congrats on your talent.
