Dark Love <3

4 posts
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Gender Female
Points 300
Reviews 0
Last nite i had a dream
About you about wen i said i love u
Then i said i missed u to
And now i wish you were here

Then laughter and the
Words i love u would be all
You could hear

And even when my blood
Spills onthe floor
It forms heard with your
Name and i love u more
All i need is u

Life withought you is like
Havin my heart riped out
When your a round
A light you light up my life with
It makes me want to shout

I love you like a fat kid loves
Cake and breaking choclate bars

I'd do anything for you
Even climb a billion staires.




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Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 227
Just edit this, please. Proper spelling, proper punctuation all that unimportant stuff.
Sing we for joy and idleness,
Naught else is worth the having. -- Ezra Pound

PM if you're in need of a review.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 203
I must agree with Mad on this subject please change it, then ask people to take you seriously.
We're meant to be one
I know we are...
If I am the Sky
Then you are my star... ™




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 192
Welcome to YWS!
I'm sure others will be drilling you about the 2:1 ratio, so I'll just be getting to the review.

This isn't very good in my opinion.
1. You need a dictionary! And please no tlkin lik dis...

2. To, Too, and Two... learn the difference.

3. I'm a fan of cliche *points to sig*, but this is just... argggh! Been there, read that. Please try putting some originality into it!

4.
I love you like a fat kid loves
Cake and breaking choclate bars


50 Cent song? "21 Questions"? Yeah, that has to go.

5. you need a better beggining and end and poem... it's too boring and overused.

Well, that's all I got. Good luck, I hope you improve this, it needs a whole lotta work!



i exist in a constant state of confusion so its ok
— veeren