Haikus with a picture.

We had to write Haikus based on a picture for my writers group, and i'm really not one for poetry never mind haikus, but here's what i came up with.

1.

Graffiti riddled tunnel,
cold, empty and dead.
Is there a light at your end?

2.

Round and round you go,
eternal, like the flame.
Though heat you do not posess.

3. (just a mixture of the previous two)

Graffiti riddled tunnel,
round and round you go.
Is there a light at your end?


Here is the picture they're based on:

This is extremely good. I didn't count the syllables, but mostly focused on the structure and word choice. #3, I think you should write instead of being lazy because you can "turn off" readers that way. I loved the way some lines seemed to rhyme. Liked the repetition and the condensing language. Well done, but needs some polishing to earn my star.

Yeah i think the syllables are a little off. The writer we had with us that week though said it didn't matter, that a lot of writers don't follow the 5-7-5 formatting.

Before I give you any comments, please get rid of that appostrophe. You aren't talking about anything that belongs to a haiku.

As you wish, your majesty. Please excuse me for following the basic grammar rules that I've come to learn over the past sixteen years.

Seriously, no need to be offended by something so trivial. It was a mistake.