Dirty Honey

4 posts
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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 7
Sugar sweet and softly too;
But here’s the thing – I don’t love you.
Sickly, gaudy, paradise,
You’re so toxic, ‘cause you’re so nice.

This poison’s like the summer, beating down, drawing near,
Looming closer like something I can’t bring myself to fear.
Pretty flowers and butterflies can’t satisfy me now,
I need something real, something to feel, something I can cry about.

Sugar sweet and softly too;
But here’s the thing – I don’t, I don’t love you.
Sickly, gaudy, paradise,
You’re so toxic, 'cause you’re so nice.

However well you decorate, with pastel lace and sexy bows,
You can’t paint on top of, can’t disguise, can’t gloss over what I know.
Cause a ball and chain’s kind of hard to miss,
And I know it; you show it more with every frosted kiss.

Sugar sweet and softly too;
But here’s the thing – I don’t, I just don’t love you.
Sickly, gaudy, paradise,
You’re so toxic...you’re so nice.

Now skull shaped coconuts are all around,
And I never wanted to be home bound.
Skull shaped coconuts are all around -
But I never wanted to be home bound

I can see you’re such a sweet honeybee,
But I can’t take you swarming so headily down on me.
I’m saturated and even this puppy love is clotting,
It’s a sad, sad joke but I might have to start swatting.

We’re just so different, like frost from fire,
You’re the earth and I’m the live wire.
You’re smothering me, and I’m discovering so sadly,
That this sweet, sweet loving was never made to be.

Sugar sweet and softly too;
But here’s the thing – I don’t love you.
Sickly, gaudy, paradise,
You’re so toxic, but you’re so nice.

Sugar sweet, and soft, and sad,
This asphyxiation never had
Any wings to get it off the ground,
And I want to be wild; I want to be free –
I never wanted to be home bound.
sometimes you are the windshield...and sometimes you are the bug. that's just the way the cookie crumbles, so go take a long walk off a short plank.

hahaha :D




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Gender Male
Points 1823
Reviews 665
Very nice. One thing before post anything on YWS review at least two peices by other people. That way you have 2 reviews per post ratio making in theory more reviews done. This is very well done. You approach a cliche topic but overcome it with exellence showing us a new and original way. At least from what I know.

I love this line:

Now skull shaped coconuts are all around,
And I never wanted to be home bound.
Skull shaped coconuts are all around -
But I never wanted to be home bound


Overall: This earns a star as you approach a hard overdone topic newly and keep up the exellence and verbose word choice.

Good luck
VSN
We get off to the rhythm of the trigger and destruction. Fallujah to New Orleans with impunity to kill. We are the hidden fist of the free market.
We are the ink, we are the quill.
[The Ink And The Quill (Be Afraid) - Anti-Flag]




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 17
jump//for//joy wrote:Sugar sweet and softly too;
But here’s the thing – I don’t love you.
Sickly, gaudy, paradise,
You’re so toxic, ‘cause you’re so nice.


I take it that's the chorus? I really like that. I can see it as being catchy and infectious.

I think the lyrics tie together nicely. It's very image-heavy, but the title is metaphoric so I suppose it make sense that the rest of the song is too.
Getting what you want is just as difficult as not getting what you want. Because then you have to figure out what to do with it instead of figuring out what to do without it.
- The Realm of Possibility




Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 7
hey guyss, thanks a lot for your comments! point taken about the reviews, an im working on it, and cassandra - yep that's the chorus. you're right about it being very image heavy, i didn't actually realise until you pointed it out and i read it over! but im glad you liked it :)
sometimes you are the windshield...and sometimes you are the bug. that's just the way the cookie crumbles, so go take a long walk off a short plank.

hahaha :D



If you steal property, you must report its fair market value...
— John Oliver