Jesmal Part 2

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Jemlar smiled as he watched his little son’s clumsy attempt at imitating him make a bed, by crisscrossing the extra pine boughs he had cut earlier. “Jesmal, let us go look for some firewood!” he called. His boy popped his head up, pleased that his dad had asked him to do something. Jesmal trotted along after his father, trying to match his steps. As Jemlar stooped to collect up an armful of firewood, the boy looked around and gathered up smaller sticks, kindling size to add to his own small pile. Later, after small Jesmal had long since fallen asleep, Jemlar continued to gaze into the rising flame. As he watched the twisting forks shoot sparks into the cold night air, his mind wandered.

Jemlar looked up and smiled as his wife entered the room from the adjoining nursery, closing the door softly behind her. He was struck by her beauty, as he had been innumerable times before. Her dark mahogany hair hung delicately around her shoulders, framing her face. Oh, that face. Fairer than many had ever seen, or would see. She returned his smile as she walked gracefully over to where he was sitting, and joined him on the deep red settee. She leaned against him and sighed.

“He’s asleep. I had to read three stories to him tonight before he finally nodded off. He likes the ones about battles best. What were your favorites as a child?”

“I’d probably have to say the battles.”

“What is with men and boys and battles? They are gruesome affairs that cause pain and heartache for all of the women and children who lose family members.”

“Yes, I suppose so. When I was small, I always wanted to be hero like my father and my uncle who helped defeat the Galkuss. And if it weren’t for battles and wars my dear, the women and children you spoke of would all be dead or enslaved. It is a man’s duty and greatest desire to protect those he loves, no matter what the cost.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, contemplating the reality of those statements. Finally Amra broke the silence.

“I’ve been waiting for the right time to tell you something, and I believe this is a good one.”

“Oh?” Jemlar raised his eyebrows slightly and waited patiently for her to continue.

“Let’s just say that little Jesmal will have a new baby brother or sister in a few months.” Amra’s eyes sparkled with joy.

Jemlar sat bolt upright from his former somewhat slouched position, as he turned to face her. “Are you certain?” His eyes concernedly searching her face.

“Quite.”

Jemlar’s eyes bespoke his joy as he gently kissed her inviting lips.
Each was then lost once more in their own thoughts. After a while Amra decided to retire for the evening.

“I’ll go notify the guards that they can have the night at home with their families.” Jesmal said, “Then, I believe I shall retire as well.” I shall return shortly.” With another quick kiss, he departed.

As Jemlar was in the hall, returning to the room that he had just come from, a bloodcurdling scream pierced the air. He broke into a run. Down the hall he flew, and then, through the door. There he froze. On the floor, not three feet away, lay Amra, a silver dagger through her heart. Amra, who only moments before had been so full of life, so blissfully happy was dead at his feet. After quickly looking around the room to make sure the murderer was not still there, he gathered her up in his arms. Her blood soaked his shirt but he didn’t care. He crossed the room and laid her body on the couch where, was it only minutes before, they had sat together. He kissed her forehead tenderly, one last time. Then suddenly, he remembered Jesmal. His heartbeat quickened as he strode quickly to the nursery door. It stood ajar. His heart full of fear he entered quickly. Jesmal still lay sleeping where his mother had left him. He let the child alone and returned to the (parlor) looking for any evidence, anything that might show who had done this evil. It was then that he noticed the letter placed atop the book of history that he had been reading prior to Amra’s entrance. He quickly broke the plain, unmarked seal. Written in blood were the words:

‘This is not the end. You cannot hide from me, I will find you. I will kill you and your son.’

The letter was unsigned, in an unfamiliar hand. He realized that he must get his son to safety before he could challenge this foe. Before he could avenge Amra. If he died trying there would be no one to protect young Jesmal. He must take him to a trusted friend, far away. With that resolution firmly in place he hurriedly dressed in his hunting clothes and returned to the nursery and gathered up his small son, not daring to leave him alone, even for a few minutes. He carried Jesmal to the castle’s kitchen and there filled a cloth sack with provisions. Jesmal sat on the counter where his father had set him, blinking his eyes sleepily in the semi darkness.

“What are you doing Father?”

“We are going on a trip so I am getting some food for us.”

“Where are we going??

“I don’t know son.” Jemlar replied as he found some string and tied together everything that they would need for a week’s time. Hopefully by then, they would be able to hunt.

“Is Mama coming?”

Jemlar tried to keep the tears from his voice. “I’m afraid not.”

“Oh.”

After Jemlar had acquired everything he thought they would need, including his bow and sword, they left the castle by way of the servants’ entrance.

“We must be very, very quiet, do you understand?” Jemlar whispered to Jesmal.

Jesmal nodded his small head. Jemlar picked Jesmal up and held him close. Staying in the shadows, they made their way out of the city.



“Daddy?”

Jemlar started. He hadn’t noticed that his son was awake.

“Why are you crying?” Now at Jemlar’s side, he placed his small hands on his father’s knee.
Now, in addition to the tears which streamed down his face, he tried valiantly to hold back the sobs that were trying to overtake him from his son’s eyes. He pulled the child to himself and hugged him, hard. But also gently. Jesmal snuggled into his fathers embrace, content without an answer.
"I do not believe an author has truly succeeded unless or until he has caused his readers to laugh and to weep."
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“What is with men and boys and battles?

Just say "What is with men and battles?" You do this because saying 'men' implies all of the male sex and it flows better.
I always wanted to be hero like my father and my uncle

Get rid of the 'my' before 'uncle'. It's unnecessary and disrupts the flow.
And if it weren’t for battles and wars my dear, the women

Put a comma after 'wars'.
And if it weren’t for battles and wars my dear, the women and children you spoke of would all be dead or enslaved.

... If there were no battles than how could anyone enslave or kill anyone? Powerful persuasion? Anyway, I think I know what you mean, but it's too vague for me to be sure. So change it.
“Let’s just say that little Jesmal will have a new baby brother or sister in a few months.”

If she's going to have him in a few months, than she's at least 6 months pregnant. She'd have a pretty obvious bulge by then, and why keep it a secret for that long anyway?
“I’ll go notify the guards that they can have the night at home with their families.” Jesmal said, “Then, I believe I shall retire as well.” I shall return shortly.” With another quick kiss, he departed.

I'm not sure who's saying what here since you've got that quotation mark after the first 'well'. Because if someone new speaks then its supposed to start a new paragraph, but it doesn't and I'm a little confused.
After quickly looking around the room to make sure the murderer was not still there, he gathered her up in his arms.

If he really really loved her I think he'd bolt in there regardless if the murderer was there. And if he was, he'd chase after him and try to kill him (or so I think).
He let the child alone and returned to the (parlor) looking for any evidence, anything that might show who had done this evil.

Dang, he bounced back pretty quick. If you ask me, after checking on his son, he'd be too overcome with sorrow to do anything.

Good job. I'm really beginning to like this story. Although, some people may not approve of that flashback. I personally don't mind it, but many find it a cliche or something. Next time I'd suggest putting that at the beginning just to please the larger audiance.
Trying to get to heaven without Jesus is like climbing to the summit of Mount Everest naked. You die before it happens.



He who knows only his own generation remains forever a child.
— Cicero