High, My Demon

2 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 84
Dark light, the voices hear me, my friend’s – they despise me.
I want to get high,
Have to get high,
Need to taste the sweetness.
Light dark, I am the many voices, my friend’s are no more.
The mirror stares at me,
No, I am not that girl.
Look away my demon,
Dance with me
Follow me
Come with me,
We will get high

The floor sways with us, light weaves - my demon, we sing.
So high we fly,
Our heads touch the sky,
Needed that nasty sweetness.
Beats pulse through my demon and I, we dance in the moment of bliss.
The mirror cracks from the beauty,
Do not take notice my demon.
Dance with me
Follow me
Come away with me,
We will get high.

*Needless to say, I am not promoting drugs as a good thing. Hence demon. Don't get me wrong :)*
Smile - ur alive




Random avatar
Gender Male
Points 1823
Reviews 665
One way of looking at it. You keep the structure well throughout and don't bore with overdetail you keep the life and livliyness of poem with the dark and malevolent hints of evil. Not a problem with it. It's solid and pretty effective.

Yeh, don't do drugs kid! :P

Anyway, overall: I like it, but it's missing something, can't think of what. Maybe it's bit telly in some cases. Wheras you could show it.

Good luck
VSN
We get off to the rhythm of the trigger and destruction. Fallujah to New Orleans with impunity to kill. We are the hidden fist of the free market.
We are the ink, we are the quill.
[The Ink And The Quill (Be Afraid) - Anti-Flag]



In the past I would definitely say who you would find inside. Not so much today. Place is bonkers …. As is everywhere
— Greg Specter