Life's Failure

3 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 84
*The grammatical errors are intended. I have tried to punctuate it as well as possible...gangsta style? I'm experimenting with different styles...please critique. :)*


My brother – he say ‘Never too young to die’,
an’ my mama don’t say any less o’ a lie.
Papa got shot in the back o’ the head tonight,
pissing grog out an’ losin’ blood over a fight.
The box dis’peared neath’ the dirt
an’ so I said ‘good-bye’ to a bit o’ my heart,
most o’ my hurt.
Just another failure-
couldn’t stand on two feet
livin’ down at my end o’ the street.

My mama – she say ‘Don’t never back down’,
so I’ll be wise an’ move on proven ground.
Uncle lost his gold in jail an’ took his life,
mama cover’d his body an’ took the knife.
The money she found I burned
an’ so I said ‘good-bye’ to a bit o’ hard cash;
Dirty, unearned.
Just another failure-
couldn’t look at himself
livin’ on my end o’ the gun shelf.
Smile - ur alive




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 3925
Reviews 160
This sound like something my brother used to write...it's got a distinctive feel to it. I like that about it.
I'm advertising here: Rosetta...A Determinism of Morality...out May 25th...2010 album of the year, without question.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 34
different. nice to read. love it.



"People should not be afraid of their government. Governments should be afraid of their people."
— V for Vendetta