Glass Walls

This seemed really choppy to me. I loved the idea behind it, but I couldn't get into the song. it was really short. the ideas and verses didn't flow. Just my opinion. It was very creative though. XD

Jamie

Oh My Gosh! I' not really into this kind of music but it is so awesome! The lyrics are perfect with everything! I wonder what it would sound like it Brett Dennen would sing it? Hmmmm.... But this was so awesome!

This was good. My favorite part was the first verse.

You probably have a tune that works but I think that for the chorus my tune would work better if you made the last two lines one line. But your tune probably works how it is.

Nice! I applaud this piece! *applause* Yes, well back to critiquing.

First of all, I want you to know that I enjoyed it, but I really think that there are a few things I'd just like to clear up first.

Well, the intro verse does confuse me a little, especially as I read on to the first verse, which is altogether even more confusing. I'd definitely change the intro a little bit. Just mess around with it and tweak little things to see what sounds cool or fun or interesting.

Now for the first verse. It just didn't add up and doesn't go with the second verse. I really liked the second and how it flowed really nicely and fit in the song. When you look back to the first verse, they seem like two different worlds. In the first one you are talking of physically feeling things and in the second one you are talking about memories and things that have happened between you. Change the first one to fit the second more.

Well, that's about it, so once again, great job!

0(o.o)0

I’ve never been good at Lyrical Poetry, or just poetry in general so I really admire you for pulling it off so nicely. There is a nice steady beat to it and it is nice to follow. I think I love the first verse the most, since it really pulls me in. Other than that, I don’t really know what to say. Good job, Ross! You earned the Kelly Stamp of Approval.

I wish I could write lyrics like you!
The way you've written your lyrics is so natural and doesn't feel forced at all. I love it because the first verse is what caught my attention and made me want to read more!
Although the first verse doesn't seem to flow into the second verse very well because they're talking about two different things. You could maybe edit one of them slightly so they're better suited.
But except for that I can definitely see these lyrics being played with an awesome song! When I read your lyrics there were great images created in my head so keep up the good work!
Can't wait to read some more of your work!

Meg x-x

Ok i like it but there were a few things that didn't make sense to me. maybe its just my dimwitted self but i'm not sure. when you said that the song says it all i thought it would but it really didn't to me. i got the fact that you like someone in it but thats about it.

[Intro Verse]
Feeling the life charging around me
Taking every little thing in
Watching the river flow and go on

[Verse 1]
Feel the lava underneath
With every earthquake
Shivering from every raindrop
On my skin

this is one of the versus i didnt quite understand at all

[Bridge]
But don’t worry, my darling
The walls can be broken down
It has happened before
And it can happen again
Oh, oh, whoa-oh
It will happen again

It will happen again (2x)

this doesnt really make sense after that song either.

the way i see it is that you know what it means and if others dont fine, they are lyrics and its a song from your heart. i just didnt understand it as you may.