°°°°bitter? moi?°°°°
a chance encounter
on a grey bus.
there is something about public transport
and meetings with enemies;
the two go hand in hand.
your face hurts my eyes
i don't mean that the way it sounds
i mean that it hurt in here
right here below the ribs
cut me and grazed me.
you tear me up.
i cram my hands into my pockets
hoping that they won't
leap out of their own accord
and grab your hair.
a thousand memories fling themselves at me.
fly at my face, sting my eyes.
tears jump and start gathering
i can feel them even now
soft, wet, like dew on my eyelashes.
i put my hand out to steady myself
and notice it is white as the petals
that brush against the dirty windows.
the fingers shake like the branches of a tree.
a tear falls down my face unbidden.
and i hate you for that tear
and for all the ones that drowned my skin
when the first betrayal rushed at me.
it hit me like a train,
like a speeding bullet.
predicted but so unexpected.
i remember how we used to be
such good friends
we were entwined together
you were in my blood and i felt
you in my pulse, in my heart.
you see me standing quite close
keeping my head bent and my eyelids down
in the hope i might disappear.
you nod at me and our obilgatory
exchange follows but all i hear is
the laughter in your eyes.
a chance encounter on a grey bus
and everything falls to pieces.
