lost love

Your lips touch mine
One last time
And I was ready to cry
Ready to die

So much pleasure it caused pain
Will I ever feel like this again?
I cling to you and hold you close
Taking from you one last dose

I take in your scent and how your arms feel
Crying as my brain starts to reel
I ask why it has to be this way
Because I know deep down you want to stay

You stroke my hair and dry my tears
You promised me we'd be together for years
You whisper back "this is all for the best"
I feel like you ripped my heart out with this test

You run your fingers through my hair
An I swear I can hear my heart tear
You caress my arm in a loving way
"Why this? Why now? Why today?"
Tears flood my eyes as I look up at you
Wondering if there's something I can possibly do

To make you realize how it's supposed to be
Together forever, you and me
But your eyes are cold and contain no tears
I was finally confronted with all of my fears

I realized you meant more to me than I did to you
When you said "I love you" I used to think it was true
But now I'm not to sure because of how calm you seem
I used to think you came out of my dreams

I quietly sob as I pull away from your arms
Mad that they were causing me so much harm
You try to pull me in for one last kiss
I glare at you, you wanted this

You look at me with a look of regret
But this is something I won't let you forget
I turn from you and walk away
You whisper to me "I'm sorry, please stay"

I turn away and wipe my cheek
Suddenly feeling small and weak
With a deep breath I do the hardest thing I've ever had to do
Without a backward glance I walk away from you

Erasing all the drama and pain in my life
But also feeling as though my heart was stabbed by a knife
I put my fingers to my lips
And then I suddenly realized that was our last kiss

i like it. ^_^ nice job.

Interesting poem. I read the title 'last kiss' and I thought it was going to be another one of those poems, extremely cliche. But I was wrong. This was wonderful.

Your rhyming scheme worked perfectly, did not at all seemed forced. Which I have to say is difficult to do . So I have to hand it to you, excellent job!

One small thing I noticed, that you'd like to correct:
You stroke my hair and drie my tears

Shouldn't 'drie' be 'dry'?

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this poem is awesome! full of emotion and descriptions!!!

I like this one more than the other one I commented on. ^^
It was full of emotion and I could already imagine the scene in my head as I read it.
It was great! I loved it! And I mean, really loved it! ^^

You've definitely got a talent for writing poems, my friend!
(I'm really horrible at writing poems, but you're good. I'm envious. Haha. Just kidding!^^)

Alright, I only found one mistake that has already been pointed out.

You stroke my hair and drie my tears

'Drie' is 'dry'.

My friend calls them typo demons. Irritating fellas. Oh well...

Anyway, keep on writing!

This was quite good. Real potiental. I'll just try and focus on the things that I thought brought it down.

1. The title- 'Last Kiss'. I think the piece is better than it's title. Perhaps consider revising? I don't know, it might put people off reading it if they think it's going to be un-original. Just an idea though, so feel free to ignore me.

2. The captilization of every first letter on every new line. This makes it a bit hard to read.

3. In some places, and I say some because it wasn't a big problem- the rhyme seemed forced. Here's an example when I felt this:

So much pleasure it caused pain

Will I ever feel like this again?

I think you can do better with pain and again.

Other than that, I felt it worked well. This deserves a gold star.

Hope and Best Wishes,

Eimear xx

tHANK YOU FRO POINTING THAT OUT TO ME AND I HAVE RECENTELY ADDED NEW POEMS TO MY PORTFOLIO PLEASE READ AND REVIEW THEM

Loved it. As mizz-iceberg has said, I thought it could be a bit boring because the description was "last kiss" and that's a very common theme (I should say). it really did surprised be! The rhymes were nice and the poem flown naturally. A minor error (already pointed out), and some forced rhymes, but i loved it! great work

WELCOME! lol nice poem had a good flow nice way to start it of I like the last kiss bit!

Now, this was a nice poem. I like the way how you used rhyming words now and then. It gave the poem a good background. I liked it. And I certainly liked the way you were like crying your heart out then suddenly, walk away from him, without even glacing back at him.

I quietly sob as I pull away from your arms
Mad that they were causing me so much harm (I didn't understand this line)
You try to pull me in for one last kiss
I glare at you, you wanted this (Now, this was great)

You look at me with a look of regret
But this is something I won't let you forget
I turn from you and walk away
You whisper to me "I'm sorry, please stay" (Now he says )

I turn away and wipe my cheek
Suddenly feeling small and weak
With a deep breath I do the hardest thing I've ever had to do
Without a backward glance I walk away from you

I liked these three parts of the poem more than the other ones. I mean, it had a certain darkness in it.

Well, I saw no mistakes. I love to read your poems.

Good luck.

Damn, that was really deep! I don't know who did that to you or whether not this poem is a real event of something that took place in your life but that was wicked. Wow! You are absolutely incredible. I felt you all the way and I immediately connected with you. You ushered me into your own world and claimed me as your own. You captivated the essence of the moment and set the mood and tone of the poem. Your poem is awesome and well written. The only thing that I saw that were small insignificant problems were some grammar and spelling errors but other then that, amazing! Just reread and recheck your poem to make sure that everything is okay. Other then that, wow!

I really loved this. my favorite part was the
"With a deep breath I do the hardest thing I've ever had to do

Without a backward glance I walk away from you" and the
"I put my fingers to my lips, and then I suddenly realize that was our last kiss"

This poem is different from the normal 'last kiss' poem (as people before me have said). this is the first thing that I have read of your work, so I am already in love with your poetry. I would love to read more, so think I will go find some!

its so beautifully and romantically

but then it turnes dark..

i like it. its empowering your character.

well done, and beautiful description.

needs a tad more zang though.