The Flow of Thunder

The Flow of Thunder

don't play outside
the flow of thunder.
carrying mysteries,
they had forgotten me.
she held out her hand
and I looked once more,
me, remotely possessed
rain, leaving them





Istill want this to be completely up to the reader's interpretation. So, tell me your ideas of what you think it is!

~Yoyo

Please don't yell at me for capitalization or punctuation. I left it like this purposely because I want it to be completely up to the reader's interpretation. Tell me your ideas of what you think it is!

Wow.. That's hard.

I trust punctuation with my literal life! But, I guess I'll interpret... >_< *thinks hard*

Kidding!

The poem sounded very depressing and lonely at first, especially with "they had forgotten me". I couldn't interpret the ending, but I'm bad at interpretations. I can't analyze poems for my life. It seemed to brighten up when the person offered her hand, which may even be symbolism for something else, but I don't have much to work with, leaving me with so many different choices...

The imagery was good, though! I pictured a lone person standing on a hilltop, watching a rainstorm down below.. it was a very intriguing picture. ^_^

Jabber, the One and Only!

Toy! *licks*

The lack of punctuation is a problem. I'm not yelling at you, per say, not really. See, the problem is that without the punctuation I lose the thread. The flow is shocking, and the structure loses power.

I couldn't get into the poem, and I had to read it over several times before I could work out what the punctuation I wanted to be there would be. ^^ After I put the punctuation in, in my mind, it was so much better.

I don't think you should compromise understanding for interpretation, because that's what you're playing with here. I couldn't interpret, not without punctuation, and you'll never find anyone to agree.

Write it so that it has the interpretation you intended, and then see what other people come up with after that.

Other then that... I like the poem itself. If you do end up changing this, Pm me, and I'll have another go at it. As is, the punctuation is all I can mention.

*Hearts* Le Penguin.