Morskigrad

If I may be so bold as to post one more poem in the same run...
(Morskigrad is a fictional city I have envisioned)





Morskigrad

In Morskigrad by the sea,
City fair by azure waters,
Where once dwelt a happy sea-folk free,
Amidst its gleaming white towers:

There is a great, doleful building
Of blackened marble and grimed panes,
Which feels no life but the wind's flitting,
Whose hearths lay host to no more flames.

(And) In that sullen, somber hall,
Graven long ago in cold stone,
The Guardians of old stand tall
Forever lifeless and alone.

Stern and proud they blindly gaze
Between high marble pillars,
But all is in a darkened haze-
No flick'ring wicks or burning briars.

So there it sits amidst that mourning city,
As a doting king doth on his beauteous throne:
A broken heart shown no pity;
A mighty animal stripped to the bone.

In Morskigrad by the sea,
City bare by churning waters,
Where dwell those evil men in glee
Amidst its crumbled white towers.

Nice job, very well done. I like the imagery, I can really see this place in my head. The only part that threw me was the rhyming between briar and pillars in the fourth stanza, unless it wasn't meant to rhyme, I just figured you would be following you rhyme scheme. Since I am new to poetry I was wondering why is And in parenthetical statements in stanza three line one?

Overall nicely done!

~Rory Evelyn Legend

I envisioned all that you said in this piece.
It's so clear and has a nice flow.
Thank for showing your me city. I felt as if I was right there.

Ah, thank you, both of you! I wasn't sure about the pillars/briars myself. I thought maybe I could get away with it, we'll see (though I suppose I didn't ^_~). As for the and in the parentheses, I'm not sure. I guess I wasn't sure whether to include it or not, or substitute it for something else. I'll see what others say. Thanks again!