singer of the night

awwww guys read this an dtell me what you think....i didnt write it but a close friend of mine did and wanted me to post it.......


You who have the voice of might
sing to bring us back the light
Sing for me Singer of the Night.

You who know how to win the fight
against the dark, to bring the light
Sing for me Singer of the Night

Soon the darkness starts to raise
the fears of night begin to fade
Sing for me Singer of the Night

All who held the night do pay
the darkness gives away to day
Sing for me Singer of the Night

The dawn does break upon my eyes
Birds do sing and birds do fly
Sing for me Singer of the Night

And as i see the clear, blue skies
I see your face and form a tie
Sing for me Singer of the Night

Never again alone will we be
but together, forever, you and me
on the horizon there is a gleam
now it is my time to sing
I'll sing for you Singer of the Night.

It seemed like this was an attempt to make rhyming couplets then stick "Sing for me Singer of the Night" onto every stanza. Sometimes this forces th poet to create bizarre images like:

I see your face and form a tie

Um...what?

If your friend wants to improve this, here are a few suggestions:

1. Scrap the rhyme. Focus on bringing this "Singer of the Night" character to life. Who/what is it? What does it look like? Why is he/she/it significant to the narrator?

2. Try using original images and metaphors to show the answers to the questions above. Make sure they make sense and that they flow.

3. Use correct punctuation. It makes the piece so much easier to read.

This isn't horrible, but your friend could do a lot more with it if he/she wants to. Keep writing!

I thought this was pretty good. I agree with niteowl however that she/he could do a lot more with this. You should tell him/her that he/she doesn't have to try so hard to rhyme. If you try too hard, it seems to forced and looses the focus of the poem. Other than that, I think this could be a really amazing poem if he/she would only tweak it a bit.

Interesting poem... You may tell your friend that.
You had a few typos and a few problems with your poem. Like here:

You who know how to win the fight against the dark, to bring the light Sing for me Singer of the Night

This is what it looks like in paragrph form, and this is it should look like in paragraph form:

You who know how to win the fight against the dark, to bring the light. Sing for me Singer of the Night.

Any thing that isn't underlined is something that you forgot. You did atleast twice and I'm just reminding you that you must be careful with what you type and make sure that you over look your work before submitting.

I thought that the ideas of the reusing the same line over and over again made the poema bit more interesting. Especially when you did the last line you changed to "I will sing to you Singer of the Night". Caught my atteintion that's for sure!
Have fun ccorrecting dear friend!
And maybe somtime I will sing to you, SingeroftheNight!
Sincerely,
Shanan-cat!

I agree with everybody else. Anyway, it was okay. You can write better poems than that, so I suggest that you coach her or him if they want to write more poems. Anyway, best wishes!

thanks guys i let him no......

Sorry about if I was being harsh... but I was just saying how I felt.

sorry tha my poem was not sataasfactory. i really am only a begginer at poetry.

really? i loved it!

im really gald you thought so, but no one else liked it and i thought it was really good. (sigh)