The Kiss

niteowl · 2008-03-11T16:14:27Z

Your eyes, pure ponds of blue, stare into mine, muddy piles of brown. Your arms wrap around my waist and I wonder if your heart is beating as fast as mine. The sun highlights your sand-hued hair as we run up the bleachers. Can it be that it's been six whole months and still our lips haven't touched? We sit for a while in deserted stands bathing in the sunlight's glow. Standing up now, our hands intertwined, the sun blinding us to everything else. Like two magnets, our faces rush together, preparing for the crash. I am fulfilling my greatest daydream, yet there is no satisfaction. Kissing a statue with wooden lips and metal eyes would feel no different. As I break away, you vanish into dawn, the lie swept away by a new morning. I get up and put on my glasses, so maybe I'll stop living in blind obession.

ink_on_fire

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Points 890

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Fri Apr 11, 2008 3:18 am

ink_on_fire says... · Fri Apr 11, 2008 3:18 am

Love it!

I like the twist at the end.
The 'and put on my glasses' bit really shows alot to me.

Lovely rhythm. The 3 line stanzas spice it up too.

Kissing a statue
with wooden lips
and metal eyes
would feel no different.

This is so realistic. I'm sure everyone's felt like this before so we can all relate pretty well.

What a beautiful poem.
Lovely work

Peace V:P

Smile - ur alive

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Angels-Symphony

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Sun Jan 04, 2009 11:53 pm

Angels-Symphony says... · Sun Jan 04, 2009 11:53 pm

I love this poem ^^ Star for you! *applauds*
I like the twist at the end. It didn't flow that well, so I reccomend you find some more fitting words so this poem can flow. The meaning of it is great however.

You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself into one.

The writer, when he is also an artist, is someone who admits what others don't dare reveal.

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KatherineF92

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Points 2325

Reviews 23

Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:47 pm

KatherineF92 says... · Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:47 pm

Don't take this the wrong way, but your poem made me uncomfortable.

And not in a bad way, because it was very good.

What I mean to say is, it was very personal. I kindof felt like an intrusion into your mind. So I guess that means the writing was phenominal. Kudos to you :)

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