A breeze wandered through the air, as the last fractured rays of light brushed against the wizard’s cloak.
You don't need the comma.
intricately patterned runes which swept across silky fabric, as it danced in the gentle wind.
Once again, you didn't need the comma. If you want to use one, though, it would work after the word 'runes'.
" the wizard smiled softly, with kind eyes.
You don't need the comma.
Then a voice was weaved along the wind, as the wizard began to chant.
Okay, I'm seeing a pattern. You think you need to use a comma whenever you use the word 'as'. Now that we've determined that, I'm not going to put any more of those I see on here. I'll leave them for you to find and fix.
It was a low, soft sound, echoed with an enchanting melody.
Say 'echoing' not 'echoed'.
Great job with this. A few grammatical mistakes but that's it. I loved your descriptions and your dialog was phenomenal. Overall it was interesting and well done. I can't wait for the next part.