Limerick I

There once was a guy named Rick
He decided to have a picnic
He fell down a hole
Got bit by a mole
A now has a humungous D... (Use your imagination)

Please don't rip this, my English teacher said I am the new Josef Stalin.

Comments are appreciated.

Chris

That was great. It rhymed and it was humorous. Those two things go great unlike water and a light switch. And I like the sarcastic humor at the end. Sarcasm works well in literature. Overall good job!!

Thnx, I think its pretty rubbish, but suit yourself...

Play Up Pompey, Pompey Play Up
Play Up Pompey, Pompey Play Up
Play Up Pompey, Pompey Play Up
Play Up Pompey, Pompey Play Up
Play Up Pompey, Pompey Play Up

There once was a dog called Tone
He tried to run after a bone
He fell down a hole
Got bit by a mole
And got sponsored by Vodafone

Silly, but well-done. Short poems aren't exactly my cup of tea, but for what these were, they were good.

That was terrible.

If you want to use profanity, make sure they actually fit.

I mean, using random descriptions and events and blah doesn't make a poem funny, unless it's actually satirical or makes sense. Second off, Rick does not rhyme with picnic. The hole has nothing to do with the picnic, the mole has nothing to do with the hole, and the dick does not have anything to do with anything.

So, this was terrible.

And the second limerick was bad, too.

Please, if you really want to write limericks, make them witty and philosophical. Make them interesting, and funny, but never exaggerate with unneeded profanities.

I am still shocked with disgust from the first one.

Its ok but it is good for a short poem. yeah i know what i said didn't make sense but its ok. I think you can tell much more than that.

Sorry for cutting it short but i am king of in a hurry but Pm me if you have any questions. Have a good day ^_^

SimonCowellLuver

My only problem is that the last line doesn't really seem to work with the rest of it. It doesn't have quite enough syllables and you have to say it a funny way to actually get it to work.

I thought the profanity was a bit low. It was funny, but more of a dumb humor than anything. The fact that you didn't even post it is kind of showing. And I'm not quite sure how that is a response to being bit by a mole...

~GryphonFledgling

ok, i like the constructive critiscm... except for gandhi, or whateveer the hell your name is...

You make a limerick then, go on.... have a go!

That was terrible.
If you want to use profanity, make sure they actually fit.
I mean, using random descriptions and events and blah doesn't make a poem funny, unless it's actually satirical or makes sense. Second off, Rick does not rhyme with picnic. The hole has nothing to do with the picnic, the mole has nothing to do with the hole, and the dick does not have anything to do with anything.
So, this was terrible.
And the second limerick was bad, too.
Please, if you really want to write limericks, make them witty and philosophical. Make them interesting, and funny, but never exaggerate with unneeded profanities.
I am still shocked with disgust from the first one.

BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moderator's Note

I edited your surname out of the initial post. You should be careful with that stuff.

Also, don't harass your critiques by saying you do not appreciate their honest opinion, otherwise you'll get no opinions and no friends.

Hey, this was funny Sometimes poem like this are just made to make people laugh. And you accomplished that so good for you!

My only advise for you would be to maybe try to expand your thinking and come up with something even more in depth besides being bite by a mole!

Keep Writing!

It was cute. I liked the first one better than the second one though.

I have to agree that it was funny, well...yeah funny and ryhmed but......I don't know never mind...
-em

Thanks

Not my cup of tea.

Although well-written and well-structured, it clearly made some people laugh so I guess it's a success. Personally I just didn't find any effect to it. As I prefer dry, constructive humour, I didn't really find any of them funny, either. What I will say is I like the pace of your poetry.

Keep up the good writing,
Cut down on the immaturity if possible though. If someone doesn't like your work, deal with it.
Ben.