Inspiration, or lack of

You write what you know.
Losing yourself to the flow
Of words and written sentiments.

Show the world the real you.
Show them what you can do.
With the pen as your instrument.

What inspires you to write?
How do you make them come to life,
The paper terms of endearment.



________
Announcement for my English Literary Journal club, we're asking the students at our school what inspires them, write it down and to show it to.
Hopefully, we won't get any more poems, because many of the submissions for our previous editions were poetry. Feel free to tear apart, I honestly don't care =/

This was kind of short, but it had so much potential. Couldn't' you make it a little longer? Tell us what these sentiments are that the author is bringing to life...

My only complaint would be the rhythm. If I read it the right way, I could find a beat, but just reading it, it jolted a bit in my mouth. In the second line, the "you" at the beginning could be deleted, the poem wouldn't miss it and the rhythm would flow much better. The last two lines were also a bit difficult, but I'm not entirely sure how to fix them without a rewrite entirely.

But I did like this poem. Very simple, yet so true.

*thumbs up*

~GryphonFledgling

GryphonFledgling wrote:This was kind of short, but it had so much potential. Couldn't' you make it a little longer? Tell us what these sentiments are that the author is bringing to life...

My only complaint would be the rhythm. If I read it the right way, I could find a beat, but just reading it, it jolted a bit in my mouth. In the second line, the "you" at the beginning could be deleted, the poem wouldn't miss it and the rhythm would flow much better. The last two lines were also a bit difficult, but I'm not entirely sure how to fix them without a rewrite entirely.

But I did like this poem. Very simple, yet so true.

*thumbs up*

~GryphonFledgling

For the announcement, it will have to stay that length but I will definately try to make it longer. I fixed the second line, I hope it flows better that way. The "paper terms of endearment" refer to people who write words of praise or love on paper and seem to bring them to life.
Thank you very much for the helpful review

I like how it was inspiring us to write more, in a writing piece. It was deep too. I liked how you and a lot of people use "___ is your instrument, use it to your ____". You really inspire us to go out and tell who we are and express ourselves.
The last comment part was kinda funny too about stop putting poems up because they've got too much. (he,he,he...)

This was good, and you had a nice idea!

Just a few little things that were niggling at me though. I thought it was just too short for the rhyming scheme that you have chosen. The scheme should have two verses coupled together, I think. Not as a rule, but I feel as though it helps the poem flow along a lot easier and doesn't seem as though it has just abruptly stopped.

Also, just a little thing. Don't tell the reader the rhyming scheme you've used. They should be able to work it out when they read it; that shows that you've written it wonderfully.

This was a good read.
Ginge.

GingerLizzy wrote:This was good, and you had a nice idea!

Just a few little things that were niggling at me though. I thought it was just too short for the rhyming scheme that you have chosen. The scheme should have two verses coupled together, I think. Not as a rule, but I feel as though it helps the poem flow along a lot easier and doesn't seem as though it has just abruptly stopped.

Also, just a little thing. Don't tell the reader the rhyming scheme you've used. They should be able to work it out when they read it; that shows that you've written it wonderfully.

This was a good read.
Ginge.

I shall do my best to make it longer Pray that I don't screw it up xD Thank you for the review, it made me feel hapy that people actually like it

Heh, well, since you don't have much effort in it then it isn't that bad of a poem. It's not amazing or anything, but for your purpose, it works.

How do you make them come to life,
The paper terms of endearment.

This doesn't make much sense though. Look at it as all one sentence--what the heck is the last line trying to say?