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I skipped a couple of unimportant stuff that would make this confusing. My friend and I were bored and so this kinda became a friendly competition. Please enjoy and remember, we were just goofing around, not trying to make a perfect poem.

A masked magician, dressed in white
Says, "Samuria! Are we to fight?"

Yes was the reply
As he flew in the sky

And the magician shouted
As his dragon he mounted

Flying though the clouds
As he recieved shouts

The magician called the fire
From the dragon to inspire

He dodged the fire cunningly
While he had fun . . . ing. . . ly

The fire countered angrily
As it was very mangrily

Cutting the dragons head off he did
Then he went and hid

The dragon cried and died and fell
Deep into the depths of hell

"HA!" cried the samuria
As he watched the dragon die

Many times the magician cried
For he just watched as his dragon died

Comforting the magicain
He made it to the friendship position

The magician the position nabbed
Before the samuria he back-stabbed!

Angry the samuria was
that he told him the flaws

And the donut did drop
From the jaws of the cop

EEEWWW the Samuria cried
while the magicain sighed

The cop did strike out
To the samuria's... mouth

While the Samuria bled
The cop fled

The cop fell and did die
By the hand of Samuria

With sword in hand
and in the other a fan

The samuria attacked
The cop with a whack

Not knowing what to do
The magician was confused

The magician ate the cop
With a helping of some slop

Seeing the magician drop
the samuria did his magical chop

The cop fell to dust
As the magician made rust!

Not knowng what to do
The samuria left with a BOOM

The magician began to cry
As his friend went BOOMing by

Lonely now
there was no sound

Except the magician's crying
And the cop that lay there dying

Feeling bad for his friend
He went back and stayed till the end

Then the world it exploded
And their heads, they imploded

And they did not speak
While they rest in Peace

And their death was sad
But it was not bad

Till a dog found them
and all their sin

And then the dog lost
All the pain of the cost

Wandering through the woods
Searching for some foods

He found a little squirrel
And he ate it in a whirl

He ran to find
But might have left his world behind

The world was gone
With out a pawn

And so into the horizon he ran
Finding a new world and clan

Was this edited?
Because if it wasn't then that was amazing! Loved the idea, the roll of the poem and the way you used so many nice words to pull it all together.

Me and my fried

Make sure that you spell things correctly before you actually posy stuff, okay?

The dragon cried and died and fell

Please try not to use the word "and" too much. It gets annoying after a while saying it to yourself in your head. Just be careful next time.

"HA" cried the samuria

There should be a "!" then a comma after "HA" if your using dialogue.

[/quote]Many times the magician cried
For he just watched as his dragon died[/quote]

These two lines don't go together. They don't relate to one another.

To the samurai's..... mouth

Only three dots when lapsing understand. I know that they are fun to do but you can't just do however many you want, okay?
that's all for now!
shanan-cat!

all of the mistakes (and more) were already found by shanan-cat, so I won't rattle on with details that you've already read

I really liked this, at first I was confused, but I get confused easily. *sigh*

good job.


Keep writing,

Risa

No I didn't edit it before I posted it. Thanks for pointing those out, they are fixed. And my friend is happy you like it.

Risa I get confused easily too.

Hey there,

Absolutely adore the concept.

A few issues, apart from the errors already discussed:

1. The stanza

"Till a dog found them
and all of their sin"

does not rhyme. Is this deliberate?

2. "Food" is invariable. The rhymes don't have to be exact. So:

"Wandering through the woods
Searching for some food"

3. "He ran to find" ... what? "Find" needs an object.

The poem could also do with some more interesting images - such word pictures would really stand out amid the nursery rhyme-like body of the piece. But I loved this. Great work. Well done.

8/10

I think it's fun and interesting but you spelled Samurai 'Samuria'. That was basicly my only complaint. Great job and keep it up! 0(o.o)0

thank you

A masked magician, dressed in white
Says, "Samuria! Are we to fight?" - Oh ha. Nice rhyming.

Yes was the reply
As he flew in the sky

And the magician shouted
As his dragon he mounted

Flying though the clouds - Should be "flew" through the clouds.
As he recieved shouts

The magician called the fire
From the dragon to inspire

He dodged the fire cunningly - Wait.. shouldn't it continues... to inspire what?
While he had fun . . . ing. . . ly - ROFL.

The fire countered angrily
As it was very mangrily - is mangrily a word?

Cutting the dragons head off he did
Then he went and hid - I thought the dragon was his pet.

The dragon cried and died and fell
Deep into the depths of hell - HA. Loser.

"HA!" cried the samuria
As he watched the dragon die - Oh, she's nice.

Many times the magician cried
For he just watched as his dragon died - Oh.. forget that last comment..

Comforting the magicain
He made it to the friendship position - .. Huh?

The magician the position nabbed
Before the samuria he back-stabbed! - HAHA.

Angry the samuria was
that he told him the flaws - Flaws of what?

And the donut did drop
From the jaws of the cop - LMAO.

EEEWWW the Samuria cried
while the magicain sighed - This is getting so funny.

The cop did strike out
To the samuria's... mouth - How does that make sense?

While the Samuria bled
The cop fled - I would too.

The cop fell and did die
By the hand of Samuria - LOSER.

With sword in hand
and in the other a fan - What does a fan have to do with anything? This is so random!

The samuria attacked
The cop with a whack - A whack...

Not knowing what to do
The magician was confused

The magician ate the cop
With a helping of some slop - He ATE the cop?

Seeing the magician drop
the samuria did his magical chop

The cop fell to dust
As the magician made rust! - Rust of what?

Not knowng what to do
The samuria left with a BOOM

The magician began to cry
As his friend went BOOMing by

Lonely now
there was no sound

Except the magician's crying
And the cop that lay there dying - I thought he was eaten..

Feeling bad for his friend
He went back and stayed till the end

Then the world it exploded
And their heads, they imploded - After or before the world exploded?

And they did not speak
While they rest in Peace - Well, um, duh, they're dead.

And their death was sad
But it was not bad - ...

Till a dog found them
and all their sin - Oh god. What did the dog do?

And then the dog lost
All the pain of the cost - Huh?

Wandering through the woods
Searching for some foods - You can't pluralize "food". As if that really matters

He found a little squirrel
And he ate it in a whirl - That rhyme was pathetic lol.

He ran to find
But might have left his world behind - Find what?

The world was gone
With out a pawn - Huh?

And so into the horizon he ran
Finding a new world and clan


Okay. Wow. That poem was funny. I would say it doesn't make sense.. but I don't think it was supposed to.. I was laughing most of the time. Some of the rhymes were very very clever..
some were pathetic, but thats irrelevant.
If you guys actually wrote this, you guys are pretty good authors!
KEEP WRITING!

I love what you said, so did my friend.

A bit too long don't you think?
And this was an e-mail? Also in your descroption you said:

This is something that me and my friend sent in a e-mail

This is not proper.
Pleaser change and then maybe I will think again.
shanan-cat!

I FREAKIN' LOVE THIS POEM!!!!!!!!!! ^-^

Look at all the people making fun of it! >____<

It rocks & rolls! <3

~Nightfall