I often wonder if that night meant as much as you let on
With the melodic whispers and promises of celestial things
One can only touch in thought
We had so much passion then, and we burnt it like a candle too
Both ends afire with such life, only for it to go out in end
Inevitably
You were all touches and laughter then
Sliding searching hands up under the folds of my skirt
Running nails against soft skin
Making me shiver slight like winter
Then with all the exploding power of fireworks
The nips and puff of heated breath
So exotic
Alight my insides and I’m shivering for quite a different reason
I try to reach out but you clucked at the impatience
My body exhausted
And then half clothed, sticky sweat bubbling on our skin
You made me want things I never knew even existed
You lit me like one of those cigarettes you always carried
Breathing in new life, mingling and entwining essences together
To create something new
I’d never had anyone like you before
That sounds so cliché now
But at the moment it was the most perfect thing
People tried to ruin what we had then
Slander what was the night
That it was just sex, and you robbed me of
Something like—my innocence
Which never was mine, if indeed it was
They’ve created a ringing in my ears
I’ve fought it and the notion that was what we had was
Something celestial and more than primal
You elicited in me something more than a flicker
And it took hold like a raging storm
Flung me to and fro
You laughed at my motions then
Told me it was new for a girl to
Be so thrilled at just surviving without
Moonlight and romantic notions
I often wonder now, if that night meant as much as you let on
When the back of your hand crossed my face
When you saw the pills and the felt the brandy on my breath
When you pulled me out by my hair
Dumping my battered, swollen body into the freezing tub
Then after drowning my aching head
You dried me yourself with that worn out blue towel
You’ve had forever
The passion was gone then, as you skimmed lithe fingertips
Along the bruise, crunching me into a thick embrace
You tried to bring it back, with embroidered wishes and lustful eyes
But it wouldn’t come
And living was mechanic
Love emerged coined term
And our bodies became as weary as our minds
All I needed was a spark
Something to alight me from the inside out
Like one of the cigarettes pilled in the sink
When you were out I’d smoke them
Pulling the insidious toxins through parted lips
Wanting into to ruin, blurring the line of pleasure and pain
Glade was my friend then
I was shameful of the habit so I hid it
Between the smell of primordial nuances and primroses
It wafted
I often wondered if that night meant as much as you let on
But you never came back
I couldn’t find you then
Tears ruining my meticulously planted black mascara
It only left me lost, searching in the holes of the fabric of being
And sobbing like a child in those far out places
As the tapestry unraveled
I think I’ve gone insane with all the memories that come rushing
Back, like waves on the shore
Reminded me of how bitter I’ve become
Why can’t I find you?
Why can’t I find myself?
I often wondered if that night meant as much as you let on
But I don’t wonder any more
) was the lack of punctuation after "It wafted" . Even if this was accidental I liked it, such a small detail, but it seemed like the verb had no end and the smell was still tangible... Well done!