Frozen Tears

5 posts
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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 5
Echoes hiding from the whispers of you
You say goodnight as your dreams seep through
Your words are echoing between my dreams
Love is just never what it seems

I sit in my room with my door closed tight
I'll light a candle in the darkest of night
The fire dances and lights the room
Screams of chaos are starting to bloom

The blade I hold has done its damage
My arms are bound in blood and bandage
My tears drop like a hero in battle
Frozen between your mindless prattle

A glimpse at my wrist and my skin goes pale
I look up and breathe, but the air seems stale
The sun dims to less than a glare
I've dreamt of an Angel that was never there




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Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 148
I liked this piece.

I especially liked the line in the last stanza describing the air.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 5




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 375
.........snazy writing yo..................good job i liked this peice and agree with ohhewwo.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 321
I like it, you conveyed the emotion really well. However, you need to be careful about the old cliches. Try to add a bit more originality, but overall it's pretty great.
purple sneakers



Who's the more foolish, the fool, or the fool who follows him?
— Obi-Wan Kenobi