Don't let me fall

I’m in a hole
I’m holding onto the only thing that I can.
If I let go, even a little bit.
I’ll fall to the bottom of the hole.

So when I looked,
Too see what was holding me up
I gasped in surprise
When I saw that it was you.

You’re the thing that keeps me up here,
Away from the bottom of despair.
I’m sure I’ll never be free of this hole,
Without you
To keep me up there.

Stay by me please,
I don’t wanna look down,
I don’t wanna have to try so hard
I just wanna be closer to you.

Catch my eyes,
Hold my gaze.
Make me forget
Where the hell I am,
And don’t,
For the love of God don't let me fall.

I won’t escape
without you.
So please
For the love of God don’t let me fall.
Don’t,
For the love of God don't let me fall.
Aaaaahhh yeeeeeeeeeeeeahhh naaaa ha
Aaaaahhh yeeeeeeeeeeeeahhh naaaa ha
Ahhhhhh naaaaah haaa ha
Yeeeeeeeeeaaa naaaaa ha.

Me like. I want to actually hear these songs. Sound very good indeed. Keep writing i love to read them !
Keep it up!

I liked this one.

If I let go, even a little bit.

For some reason, when I think of 'holding on' and 'letting go'...'a little bit' doesn't quite fit there...maybe something more descriptive.

For the love of God let me fall.

Usually, I just don't like songs (faith sorta songs not included) that have God in them...I don't know...it seems kind of weird. Just a personal preference.

I liked this--short and sweet. It was really nice and not too repetative. It didn't really have a chorus, but that definetly worked for this song. Keep up the good work.

May the Force be with you,
Timea

Give me more of this 'cause I like! You good and I like the end, although it was weird.
shanan-cat! Rock your world!

I like it but i don't really get the end you said the title was don't let me fall but at the end you want to fall. I don't get it? But everything else was good.

Hope to see you around.

SimonCowellLuver

I changed the end to make it less confusing, they way I wrote it was probably what confused people.

I liked it. It was simple, yet powerful.

My only issue with it is that you use the word 'hole' at the end of two lines in the first stanza. It seems a little repetitive.

But that was pretty much it. I'd love to hear this song actually played and sung. Nice work.

~GryphonFledgling

The lyrics, while not incredibly original, are quite sweet, and I could see them being the lyrics to a successful song. The only thing I didn't like was the "yeeeeaaahhhh" sequence at the end, lol. You could have just put the words in like, "Ah yeah na ha"--I'm willing to bet most of us have heard enough popular music to know that those are going to be drawn out, and it's less visually grating.

This is very good I like it a lot. ^_^

Wow, this was really good. I would like to hear it on the radio.

Edits: Don't use hole twice in the first *stanza??* Is that the word you use in songs, I'm not sure....

And I agree with busboys and poets, don't put all that "yeah na na" or whatever in. Nearly every song has that, so we almost expect it now. And it was kind of annoying--i didn't read the last three or so lines because of it.

Other than that, great! Keep writing... especially if it's good stuff like this.

Teh Wozzinator

I loved it, really. I'd love to hear that some time. Solid all around, but I'm no expert I hate to say. Keep it up, can't wait to read more.

Hey Alice,

I like this one Here are some peanuts :

I’m in a hole
I’m holding onto the only thing that I can.
If I let go, even a little bit.
I’ll fall to the bottom of the hole.

I'd reword this part a little bit. It sounds a bit flat and I think changing the last line would help. I think I mainly have a problem with the second 'hole'.

Away from the bottom of despair.

'Bottom of despair' is a bit.. well cliche. Try using something more original here.

If I let go, even a little bit.

I'd also reword this part. The 'little bit' doesn't really match the rest of the verse.

I think it doesn't matter that the song doesn't have a chorous. It works well without.
Overall I find it sweet, not unique, but cute

Keep it up!
~Kalliope

Pretty nice. You do say "hole" a lot, though. I'm sure you can find another word for that. Also, the first few verses are repetitive. Like: "I am in a hole. A hole is where I am. There is a hole that I am in." Okay, that's an exaggeration, but aim for some different imagery.

Overall, very good. It's interesting how your character (singer?) is surprised at the person holding her up. And then, suddenly, she's madly in love and doesn't want him to leave. Good idea. Good job.