Cherry Blossom Part 2

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[pre] When she awoke the sun was just beginning to set and she decided that that was perfect. She quickly went through her closet and pulled out a dark blue kimono that Mr. Ogura, her patron, had left there once. She guessed that it would be a little too big for him, but she really didn't have any other options.She hesitated for a moment before she walked out the door, wondering whether or not she should bring him some food, but she decided that she really couldn't take the risk of anyone in the geisha house seeing her stealing anything from the kitchen.

She ran the whole distance to the cherry blossom field; she could barely contain her excitement. She had been waiting for something like this her whole life. When she entered the field she walked quickly and purposefully until she finally spotted him. He looked so pitiful that she wanted to cry. He was huddled underneath a cherry blossom tree, his legs were up against his stomach and his arms were wrapped around his legs. He was still completely naked and she knew he must be freezing.

Now that she could see him she walked as cautiously and as quietly as she could towards him. She only got a few feet though, before he heard her and his head jerked up. She was afraid that he might run away before she even got to talk to him, but surprisingly he only pulled his legs closer to himself and stared at her. Her hands tightened around the kimono as she forced herself to keep walking, regardless of how nervous she was. She stopped about a foot from him and slowly crouched down.

A thousand questions came to mind as she looked at him but she said only one.

"Who are you?" she asked.

He shook his head, his hair covering his face when it settled. "I don't know," he said, his voice soft and faint, like the tinkle of bells or a light breeze through the grass, and it barely made the distance between them.

"But.....well, where did you come from?" asked Kyoko.

"I don't know," he said. "I don't remember anything until you woke me up. You..................touched my shoulder," he said as he glanced at his arm.

Kyoko blushed and as she did she laughed at herself. Imagine, her, a geisha, blushing because she touched a man's shoulder. She didn't know why, but it seemed different somehow; maybe because she had actually chosen to touch this man.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that........You're just really beautiful, you know?" said Kyoko as she shamelessly stared at his body, his face, his hair. As she had talked to him he had relaxed slightly and he smiled at her.

"Really?" he asked as he touched his face.

Kyoko nodded. "I've never seen anybody like you before, I mean, what are you?"

"I don't know," he said yet again. "I asked the trees but they-"

"Wait," interrupted Kyoko. "You talk to the trees?"

"Yes," he said, saying it like it was the most natural thing in the world. "But they never answer my questions, they just try and distract me with silly stories about the people who have been visiting them lately. And the flowers are even worse, always giggling to each other. I can't get anything out of them."

Kyoko was confused; was this guy serious or was he just messing with her?"

"Are you lying to me?" asked Kyoko.

"Why would I be lying to you?" said the man.

"Because people can't talk to trees. It's not possible," she said.

"But I do," he said. "Well, they actually talk to me first. Isn't that normal?"

"No, not unless you're a tree," said Kyoko.

"Well, here, watch this," he said. He held his hands out towards her and suddenly he created handfuls of cherry blossoms, so many that they were falling into his lap and on to the ground.

Kyoko gasped. "You're definitely not human," she said. But even as she said it she realized that maybe that really wasn't such a bad thing; humans were cruel to her, but trees were just trees, never hurting anybody.

Suddenly, the man shivered, pulled himself close together again, and sprinkled a multitude of little flowers all over his body. When he did this Kyoko remembered why she had come here in the first place and she unfolded the blue kimono.

"I brought you some clothes. It seems like you're cold out here," she said.

"Oh, thank you. You're right, the wind......it hurts so badly." he said, his head on his knees.

Kyoko stood up and held her hand out for him. He looked unsure for a moment, but he quickly decided to take her hand anyway and as he rose the cherry blossoms fell from him and left him standing naked in front of her. He looked at her expectantly and she thrust the kimono towards him as she nervously turned her head away. He slipped his slender arms easily through the sleeves but when he looked at the front, full of confusing fabric and ties, he felt overwhelmed.

"Umm, help....please?" he asked timidly.

"Oh, of course," she said, wondering why she hadn't helped him in the first place; sure, this was nothing compared to a geisha's kimono, but still, he had never even seen one before.

She moved closer to him and started from the top, her hands shaking horribly as she fumbled with the cloth. When her fingers brushed his skin it was like she was touching silk and she lingered a bit longer than necessary over his stomach. He had resisted her touch in the beginning, but by now he had relaxed and he no longer flinched when her fingers touched his soft, delicate skin.

She was disappointed when she finished, but she forced herself to step away from him and she sat in silence beside him for several minutes. Then, abruptly, he grabbed Kyoko's arm, held her hand in front of him, and weaved his fingers through hers. He seemed to be examining her hand as he held it and Kyoko had no idea what he was doing.

"Earlier you said that I wasn't human," he said quietly. "But we have the same hair, same eyes, same hands.................Maybe we're not that different?"

"Maybe not," said Kyoko with a smile. "Maybe you're just....blessed."

The man dropped her hand and leaned back against the tree.

"Before you got here they told me to be careful when you came, the trees I mean. They told me that you could be dangerous," he said. "I know they're just being protective over me, like they're my family or something, but still, I think that they're mistaken."

Kyoko blushed and her hand still tingled from where he had been gripping it.

"So, what's your name?" asked the man.

"Kyoko," she answered. "Do you know yours?"

He shook his head.

"Well, how about Sakura, since you came from the cherry blossoms," said Kyoko after a moment.

He smiled. "It's beautiful."

"Yeah," she agreed. "It's perfect for you."

Kyoko sighed when she realized how late it must be getting and she knew she had to get back before the nurse maids, who would be waiting for her to come home so they could go to sleep, got cranky and suspicious.

"I should be going now..........Sakura," she added with a smile.

"Oh, okay," he said. "But will you come back tomorrow?"

"Definitely! Let's meet here, okay?"

He nodded.

"Good...well, bye then," she said reluctantly.

As she walked home Kyoko was so excited that she almost skipped. She felt like dancing and screaming, and yet, she forced herself to walk quietly and calmly; masking her emotions was just something she learned to do as a geisha.

Several feet behind Sakura followed her, as silently and smoothly as if he was part of the darkness. he could still hear the trees calling him in the distance, crying things like 'My son' and 'Little Brother,' and he hated to ignore them, but he just had to see where Kyoko would go, and what she would do when she got there.

When she got to her room she immediately went to bed and outside Sakura waited for nearly an hour. Finally, when he knew she would be asleep, he opened her door and crept towards where she was sleeping. He was shaking as he crouched down next to her, for he was even colder when he wasn't near the trees, but as soon as he touched her face he felt ten times warmer. He ran his fingers over her cheek, up her forehead, and through her long black hair. He rested his fingers back on her cheek and stayed there for several minutes until, at last, he stood up again. He took one quick glance back at her before sprinting out the door. He never even realized that where he stepped little petals fell, and he left a trail of them behind him.[/pre]




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She ran the whole distance to the cherry blossom field; she could barely contain her excitement.
"She ran the whole distance to the cherry blossom field, barely containing her excitement."

tree, his
Use a semi-colon instead of a comma.

few feet though, before
Take out Though and the comma.

But.....
Take this out.

You..................
Take out all but three of the dots.

why,
No comma.

that........
Too many dots; an ellipse is only three.

questions, they
Semi-colon instead of a comma.

But they
Don't start a sentence with an interjection.

And the
Once again, the same as above.

But even
Same as above.

wind......
Not as many dots.

moment, but
No comma.

ties, he
Semi-colon instead.

help....please
Same problem as I mentioned before; too many dots.

hands.................
Same as just mentioned.

just....
Take out the ellipse.

now..........
Not as many dots as before.

he could still
Capitalize the first letter of the first word.

fell, and
No comma.

Overall, I liked it. Most of the mistakes were repeats so you did a pretty good job. I'm not sure about this but shouldn't Giesha be capitalized? :)

-Alwaysawriter
Meshugenah says to (18:12:36):
Kat's my new favorite. other than Sachi.

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