I can't

I can't.
Two words that downed my world.
The words you refuse to hear.

I can't.
Is what brings me these tears.
I can't.
Is what fills me with this fear.

I can't...
is what I've felt before.
I can't
is something that is not to be ignored.

I can't.
I just can't let you go,
I just wanted you to know...
I can't.

*moved to other poetry*

I liked this, it jsut didn't grip me. Carry on, just thing harder about repetitin, Its call, but almsot half the poem is 'I can't'.

Keep writing!

~D'Aedomir~

What is there really to this poem? It's simple text, with nothing behind it. A potemkin village of a poem. It's not good enough to merely state your feelings or emotions, if you don't explain why you feel them. Only this makes this ctype of poetry compelling. I can tell you right now that I'm feeling decent, if a little tired. Does that intrest you? Of course not. You want to know...

WHY

... I'm feeling this way.

This poem is paper thin, empty words and little else. For heavens sakes, this isn't even a very new or original emotion. But the first step, is to let us in on the big why.

I agree with borgishsmorg, I really liked your whole idea but I couldn't get any feeling from this because you didn't really explain why or what you can't do. Try to make this just a little longer and try not to be so vague. One part though:

I can't.
Two words that downed my world.
The words you refuse to hear.

I really like this as a beginning. For some reason, even though the words are quite simple, I got feeling from this. Carry on with that feeling. PM me if you have any questions or need help with anything!

Happy editing!
~Rieda

Hey

i really liked you poem alot, but i think you could put a little more emotion in your words. Then it will be alot better.

Good Luck
T

I like this poem, the way you kept the content of it to a minimum made it more interesting. It is easy to relate to, yet original.

Love the last stanza

I can't.
I just can't let you go,
I just wanted you to know...
I can't.

Well done.

Dofs...