Seasons

12 posts
Random avatar
Gender None specified
Points 890
Reviews 12
[pre]

Spring the beginning,
summer growth, autumn aging,
winter the ending.[/pre]




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 5890
Reviews 758
Clockworks, I noticed that this is at least your second new poem today. Please refrain from posting more than one work per day, and remember to do a lot of critiques.

As for the haiku, I don't think it offers something very new or interesting. Yes, a haiku is supposed to focus on nature, but what has this poem told us that we didn't already know? Spring representing birth and winter representing death is so old and cliche that it's basically ingrained into your reader's mind. Tell us something new for a change!

-Colleen
"My pet, I've been to the devil, and he's a very dull fellow. I won't go there again, even for you..."




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 8
The most useful thing I was told about haikus is that some of the best ones have a 'twist' at the end. To interest the reader and make the haiku stand out.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 48
Hey

You show talent when you write. I love this haiku i thought it was amazing, and i agree with you about the way you described the seasons.

Good job
T




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 2059
Reviews 34
Hi,
I love this. It is short and to the point but still is really good.

-Cait
"No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader."-Robert Frost

"Dreams are the future in rough draft."




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 48
Hey

I know that i already commented on this, but i love this Haiku so much, its awesome. I love it love love it, it is the best Haiku i've ever read.
Thankyou for writing it
T




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 370
Sure, it may not have been the most original poem I have ever read, but you reflected it really well and I liked it! It is one of my favourite Haikus, but it just seems a bit... done.

But hey, Keep writing!

~D'Aedomir~
We are all Sociopaths: The Prologue

Sociopath: So • ci • o • path noun
1. Someone who believes their behaviour is right.
2. Human.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1086
Reviews 134
It felt seriouly rushed and the writing seemed flat . Even though it's a haiku it should be interesting. Sorry ,I feel so bad saying this :( .




Random avatar
Gender None specified
Points 890
Reviews 12
Thanks, for those who liked it.
And thanks for those who didn't. I know it's not the best Haiku and it's relatively unoriginal, not to mention simple and could be a whole lot better. I'll submit something better next time.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1086
Reviews 134
Thanks, for those who liked it.
And thanks for those who didn't. I know it's not the best Haiku and it's relatively unoriginal, not to mention simple and could be a whole lot better. I'll submit something better next time.


I'm so sorry if I hurt your feelings or somthing. They told me to be honest when I'm reviewing and... :oops: :( :cry:




Random avatar
Gender None specified
Points 890
Reviews 12
No, you didn't hurt my feelings. :lol:
If I never got criticism, I'd never do better.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1564
Reviews 181
The only thing I really liked about this poem was the comparison to life. Otherwise it seemed a little ordinary. Find something much more powerful to express in just so many words - only then will your haikus truly resonate. :D

6/10
"Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself." William Faulkner.

Do you do poetry? Check out Poetry Inspiration over in Groups!



It's crazy how your life can be twisted upside down inside out and around and you can get sushi from safeway still looking like a normal person
— starchild314