It Isn't All Princes and Happy Endings

9 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 34
From the author: This story is based off real life. I wrote it as an assignment for Writer's Craft. We're supposed to take a story from our life and use it to create a personal myth involving archetypes and the archetypal quest. Therefore the plot can't be much changed as it is based on my life. Please critique and enjoy. Thanks.


Once upon a time in a faraway land where dreams and reality mesh, there lived three kingdoms. The first Kingdom was the wealthiest and the King and Queen who ruled it had a very handsome son who would one day inherit their wealth and land.

The second Kingdom was best known for its generosity. The King and Queen there gave as much to their people as they could and often went without because they gave so much. This King and Queen were blessed with three lovable daughters. The eldest daughter was a lover of knowledge and spent most of her days singing and reading. The middle child shared her sister’s love of the arts, was incredibly intelligent, and enjoyed having a great amount of friends. The youngest daughter was magnificently talented when it came to athletics. She enjoyed playing in the woods and participating in many sports competitions through the Kingdom. All three daughters enjoyed rather different activities but still they all came to love each other very much and would often spend as much time as possible with each other and their parents.

The third Kingdom was more specifically known for its grand selection of books. The Queen, who remained unmarried, was the most knowledgeable person in the land. This Kingdom was also known for its academies and schools.

On that note, it is at this point in the story that our main focus comes in to view. In the second Kingdom, the Kingdom of Generosity, a time came when the eldest daughter had exhausted the reading materials. She had read every book in the land and then reread them fifty times over. Though many of the King and Queen’s subjects expected her thirst for knowledge to be satiated it was not.

At first the eldest daughter was convinced that she would be able to quench her thirst by taking up one of her sister’s activities instead. She attempted the middle sister’s socializing but felt that she was always unable to talk about anything except what she had read and that many people found her references to be dull and uninteresting. Then she attempted to join her youngest sister in her sports competitions but came in last place in every single one and after the first day of it was so tired and sore that she could not move or speak for a week thereafter.

Finally, her parents helped her to realize that the best and only course of action was for her to leave home and travel off to the Kingdom of Knowledge. Hesitantly the eldest daughter agreed and preparations were made for the journey. The Princess was given a black horse to ride but the generous family hadn’t enough money to pay for anyone to protect the Princess. They merely bestowed her with a carrier pigeon so that, if she were ever in dire need, she would be able to contact them. After a tearful goodbye to her parents, sisters and Kingdom, the Princess set off.

She rode through many dark forests, up hills and down hills, until finally she came to a straight and narrow path that was only defined in the yellowy-green grass because it had been walked so many times. She rode down the path until she came to the Kingdom of Knowledge’s entrance and after disclosing her name and title she was admitted entry.

Once in the Kingdom she headed to a royal bookshop, which held millions upon millions of books. There was one book that the Princess had been waiting through her all her travels to read and it was the first one she looked for once inside the shop. She looked everywhere in the shop, on every shelf, in every stack, beneath every table but nowhere was this book to be found. She was almost ready to give up and move on to another book when she spotted it, across the room on the highest shelf. It seemed to glow amidst the others in the evening light. She hurried across the room, went on her tip-toes, and stretched her arm out to grab it but another hand intercepted hers.

She had been so close, she thought, and turned to demand that the hand that had grabbed it should indeed hand it over, when she noticed the hand that had grabbed her book belonged to a very handsome Prince.

As she found herself at a loss for words and rather abashed at even thinking of demanding anything of this Prince, the Prince did something odd—he smiled and she returned the smile. He explained that he had also been looking for the same book and quickly apologized for taking it. Perhaps, he offered, he could purchase the book and later they could read it together. She agreed.

He was staying at a simple country inn, at a village nearby. Upon visiting it, the Princess noticed that it indeed was simple, but pleasant at the same time. They spent the night eating together and reading the book and eventually became so engrossed in one another that they lost all discussion and reading of the book in a conversation over dinner.

By the end of the night, the Princess was completely taken by the Prince, confiding in him that she had never been able to discuss anything but books in her life with anyone except her family! He smiled and replied that this was perfect because, to be honest, he was incredibly taken with the Princess.
Last edited by VampX13 on Tue Feb 12, 2008 1:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
"I'm an actress, not a beauty." -from the movie, Stage Beauty




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 34
He proposed that she return with him to stay the following week at his castle in the Kingdom of Wealth. She should contact her parents, she thought, but what would they think, she wondered? She had come all this way for knowledge and instead of relishing in books she was relishing in a Prince. No, they could never know. She happily agreed to go with the Prince concealing her feelings from him and merely enjoying the new friendship they had forged.

Time passed and soon the week was out and it was time for the Princess to bid the books farewell and journey back to the Kingdom of Wealth with her Prince. Near the end of their pleasant journey to the Kingdom of Wealth, the Prince told the Princess that there was a surprise waiting for them at the castle.

The Princess was curious about what it could be but soon found out. As they arrived at the castle and the large ebony doors were opened before her, she saw stacks upon stacks of books. The Prince had bought millions of her favorite books, enough to fill the castle, and had them delivered and waiting for her. It was then that he revealed his true intentions and proposed that the Princess marry him, creating a great bond between the wealthy and generous. The Princess, at the sight of the books, felt something magical happen within her. Her heart seemed to swell in her chest and became so large that it took all the blood within her draining it from her logical mind. The Princess was in love.

This love clouded her judgment causing her to smile and nod, signifying that she agreed to take the Prince’s hand in marriage. The Prince thanked her for the privilege and promised her years of happiness. As an afterthought though, she added that her parents must never know. For if they knew that she had chosen a man over knowledge, they would no doubt shun her forever. The Prince agreed admitting that it was a small price to pay for her hand.

And so they were wed. The wedding was small with only the King and Queen of the Kingdom of Wealth attending. Still it was beautiful with a great feast, many presents, and festive dancing. The Prince and Princess were passed down the crown and rule over the Kingdom of Wealth. The two spent the whole night dancing and talking together. They were inseparable. This night reflected what their marriage would be like for the seven years to come: full of happiness, love and caring for one another.

Until one day a great tragedy befell the couple and the Prince became very ill. Day and night the Princess stayed by his side, watching over him, for months and months. Many royal physicians attempted to cure the Prince’s ailment, but to no avail. It seemed, to the Princess, the Prince would never recover but forever be confined to his bed, until his dying day. This broke the Princess’ heart.

However, as heartbroken as the Princess was, there came a time when she had other matters to attend to. During the Prince’s period of sickness the commoners of the Kingdom had become chaotic and unruly, demanding that someone come before them and explain what was going on in the castle. The Princess was forced to come out of her seclusion with the Prince and speak with the people. She spoke from a balcony in the castle that overlooked the Kingdom, “My people,” she said, but that was all she could get out. All of the sudden she started babbling nonsense about books. She had never needed to speak with anyone but the Prince throughout their years of marriage and she remembered that her Prince and her family were the only people she had ever been able to really talk to. Baffled, she attempted once more to explain the seriousness of the Prince’s condition but once again failed to make much sense.

The commoners responded in an uproar, half of them felt compassion for the Princess and half of them blamed her for the Prince’s mysterious illness. The two sides began to argue with one another and the Kingdom, it seemed, was thereby divided. The Princess attempted to stop the fighting but from her balcony all seemed hopeless.

She screamed and shouted but the commoners continued to fight. She called the guards but found her incapable of ordering them to do anything, as she couldn’t speak sense to them. Eventually, confused, upset and enraged, she ran from the balcony into the castle, and down the many stairs, stumbling as she went, out the door and through the arguing Kingdom of Wealth. She ran and she ran, falling into a shallow river but forcing herself to go on running beneath the blinding white sky, unsure if she had really been the cause of all this mess or just some mysterious force.

She ran until she could run no more and then she realized where she was. She had run so long and so far that she was now between the Kingdom of Generosity and the Kingdom of Wealth and she stood before the entrance to the Kingdom of Knowledge. Should she return to the Kingdom of Generosity she feared she would become a disgrace. Should she return to the Kingdom of Wealth she feared the same and more. And so the Princess looked once more upon the Kingdom of Knowledge.

All she could do was talk books and so she would live with her books forever and speak only to them. She returned to the bookshop where she had met the Prince with tears in her eyes and to this very day that is where she resides, amidst a stack of books, chattering daily to and about them, never truly happy but always truly knowledgeable.
"I'm an actress, not a beauty." -from the movie, Stage Beauty




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 22
Wow, what a story! I LOVE the idea of having separate kingdoms with different star qualities, yet it has a romantic element too, linking to the typical fairytale story.
[quote]
Still it was beautiful with a great feast, many presents, and festive dancing. The Prince and Princess were passed down the crown and rule over the Kingdom of Wealth.'
This could be changed to The arrangements for the wedding had been organised very well and the preparations were in place for the Coronation at the end, where the crowns would be placed on the newlyweds' heads.
That is the only change I would make, but i still loved the story.
*Lilmisswritergal*




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 34
thanks!
"I'm an actress, not a beauty." -from the movie, Stage Beauty




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 4
This was great writing! Your grammar is excellent, a trait that is AlWAYS admirable. And the storyline was creative and interesting.

I guess my only issue with this piece is the lack of finality in it! Why didn't her parents ever try to contact her at the Kingdom of Knowledge and get a returned carrier pigeon? What happened to the Prince? Is the Kingdom of Generosity still fighting? Did the princess not learn anything about public speaking while she was in the Kingdom of Generosity? I know that this was partially autobiographical so I don't actually expect answers but....dang!

Again, great great job. I'm off to read more of your work because you've firmly hooked me in!

Cheers,
Ollie May
There's no such thing as writer's block. That was invented by people out in California who couldn't write.
-Terry Pratchett-




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 34
I guess if I were to draw answers from my real life experiance.

Her parents tried to contact her later after she spent some time away in the Kingdom of Knowledge but she never returned home.

The Prince's ailment was lifted soon after the Princess fled and he tried to win her back but, although many times, he came close, he remained unable to sway her.

The Kingdom of Wealth was the Prince's Kingdom and where the Princess lived when they were married. And the Kingdom of Wealth stopped fighting when the Prince became well; they merely rejoiced in his recovery.

The Princess learned absolutely nothing about public speaking throughout the story and throughout her life. She always had an air of miscommunication.

I would love to jam everything in my life in there but it was only supposed to be a two page assignment, double-spaced! So mine was already long enough. Lawl. Thanks! Glad you liked it!
"I'm an actress, not a beauty." -from the movie, Stage Beauty




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1064
Reviews 30
Wow, you did really well to keep that in the appropriate narrative voice!

Though, I feel you might be able to tweak the first couple of paragraphs to flow better, there were lots of full stops, and individual sentences...

...but that was nothing major, maybe even just my brain.

Though, I am now curious as to what this relates to in your life...very mysterious! :) Kudos to you! :)
"Nostalgia's just not what it used to be..."




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 22
Yeah, I have to say, your grammar is excellent, and as I said before I LOVE the kingdoms and the characters, everything fits together really well, as a published book does.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :D
I love anything fantastical or magical, I love Northern Lights (Golden Compass) by Philip Pullman and stuff. I think your story comes alive the moment it starts. A great piece of work. The only thing i would change change is the 'One day' bit, it's a bit old-fashioned, but if that was the style, then that's OK.




Random avatar
Gender Male
Points 1823
Reviews 665
This was intersting, but even though it's just on Princess we never get much character development from anyone. A bit from the Princess. Nothing much else. It's reminds me of Robin Hobbs by using qualities as name. I didn't very much like it. It lacked so much. Mainly description. Sorry if indeed this sounds harsh. I mean no offence. It could be so much better, you;re using metaphors to describe ya life. I like this. Just work on improving this bettering it. Also, the bit about her talking sounds bit far fecthed. She had sisters come on. She was of Royalty they educate you in that sort of thing. Again this may sound harsh, but I see potential here and I want you to grab it.

Good luck
VSN
We get off to the rhythm of the trigger and destruction. Fallujah to New Orleans with impunity to kill. We are the hidden fist of the free market.
We are the ink, we are the quill.
[The Ink And The Quill (Be Afraid) - Anti-Flag]



People with writer's blocks should get together and build a castle.
— Love