:
as a vampire he's always a youth 
He smiled, a wicked grin that showed no remorse. Slowly he crawled upon the ground, allowing his sharp claws to rip the stone floor open; he left a trail of thick blood after him.
A hissing sound escaped his throat at the smell of pure blood: he had finally caught up to her, the little angel whom he so badly desired to slay and drain.
Her soft cries echoed through the dark hallways, and his grin grew wider as he came closer and closer. He saw her pressing her skinny body against the cold brick wall.
”I have found you, angel child,” said the man.
”Leave me be!” cried the young girl. Leave me be? Seems unrealistic.
He began to laugh madly, throwing his head back and [s]chuckled[/s] chuckling like a madman. Suddenly his face was right in front of hers, his blood red eyes meeting hers. Those two "hers" so close together = bad.
”Feed me,” he said with a husky voice.
With that, [s]said[/s] he took her face between his large, pale hands and kissed her. His fangs [s]taking[/s] took her bottom lip and began to tug, tasting her virgin blood.
She wanted to scream; she wanted to cry; [s]but[/s] yet nothing was heard but [s]only[/s] the growl that escaped from the hollow of his throat.
With one swift movement he ripped her bottom lip off. Her pure blood rained upon his pale face; her eyes [s]grow[/s] grew wide and she began to scream with the little power she had left.
”Yes, scream my pretty.” He laughed and spat out her lip. "My pretty"? Wow, that's cliched.
He still held her face between his cold palms, pressing them hard against her red cheeks. Slowly his hands began to travel back towards her neck.
His index fingers pressed against the upper bones, drawing a long line of blood with his claws; he licked the sweet blood off and smiled at her.
"You taste divine, angel.”
She was crying; her screams had ended; her voice had died along with her spirit. She gave in to him, [s]she[/s] let him torture her.
He placed his hands upon her ribs and carefully, almost [s]tender[/s] tenderly, [s]caressing[/s] caressed them. [s]to[/s] He suddenly thrust his fingers through her skin and [s]take[/s] took ahold of her ribs, pulling them out of her body.
She jerked her back against the wall and tried to scream, but nothing came; tears traveled down her scared face.
He lowered his head and took an [s]intestines[/s] intestine between his teeth and tugged at it; he bit it apart and began to chew on the piece, then he spat it on her face.
"And you used to love me.”
Very creepy...I usually don't read stuff like this. The fact that you got me to read a vampire story at all proves that you're pretty good!
”I have found you angel child”, said the man.
Or I would die of a heart attack.
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