wounds

wounds
bound in grace
blood shattered and
spilt
tears,
salty to taste
dirt smeared,
unkempt hair plastered
emotional
spiritual
physical
wounds
scaring my life
wounds wrapped in pain
leaving behind
tears and blood
scars never healing
wounds,
unescapable

Woah. First off, your line breaks are way too short. And for that matter, what are you trying to say? This is really all that can be gotten out of it:

Wounds are bound in grace
Tears taste like salt
wounds are wrapped in pain (I thought they were bound in grace?)
Scars never heal.


You might want to think this out some more and figure out what you really want to say. So far, you aren't telling me anything I don't already know, or anything I actually care about. How can you speak to your reader? How can you make your reader feel what your speaker is feeling? For that matter, what is your speaker feeling?

well i guess the message im tryin 2 give is ur going 2 have wounds no matter if they're good or bad. they can be graceful, but at the same time painful...if you know what i mean...some1 hear me out.....

I guess I didn't really get it...I agree with Suzanne. And your rhythm needs work too.... It's rough and some of the lines are too short (all the single-word lines). "Unkempt hair plastered" was off, and that didn't really fit with the poem. It needs work.

Teh Wozzinator

Well, I liked it. I didn't think it was too rough; in fact, the short line breaks pulled me in more, so I think that was a success. I also think you had good imagery, like "blood shattered." However, it started to get weaker at the line "emotional". So try to work in some more concrete detail, not just words. And about it not making sense, whoever said poetry has to make sense?

Good job. Keep writing.

This is just a bunch of words. Like cards in a mobile, it now needs a string to tie it together. Lists like "unkempt hair plastered/emotional/spiritual/physical/wounds" aren't as smart as they are boring and messy. Ultimately, this brings nothing new to either poetry or the subject of wounds in general. Think about what wounds really are, how they affect people, and try again. Do you even know what you're trying to say?