Life as Night

this is just something i wrote a few nights ago.

Life as Night

I put a dark, starry blanket
On the world
Calling out
“ Go to sleep”
“Its time for bed”
I pull back the covers
At dawn
Calling out
“It is time to wake up”
“Get up, it’s a new day”
Waiting yet another day
I sit content
Waiting
For the next time
To put the world back
To bed

Simple, yet good. After i read it i thought to myself that maybe it would be better if it were longer. Then i realized that if it were longer it wouldnt make it better at all, actually quite the opposite. So leave it, dont change a word. Great work.

wow, thanks . i just studied about inertia in scince class(has to do with newton and physics). cool

Hey! This is sooo cool! Short but sweet!

~Lollipop~

*bows* thank you, thank you, o too kind, i'll be here all week *slowly walks off stage*.

Blizzard you are soooo weird. But alas I loved it too. I never did anything like that. My poems always end up being a narrative story-like poem.

whats wrong with weird...everybdoy else is

I was going to quote just the parts I liked the most, and then I realised I was actually quoting the whole thing. I loved it. It's perfect, don't change a thing.

Calling out
“ Go to sleep”
“Its time for bed”

If I had to pick that would be my favourite part. "Calling out..." Now it's gonna be stuck in my head! Great poem.

thank you, very much valor, i've almost forgotten about this, thank you, and speaking about bed, i should probably go there its about 11 pm big day at school tomorrow, thank you for all of your comments

Very good other than that you had waiting for a new day once the new day had already come, catch my drift?

yea, missed that lol.

I think because your poem was short, it made it better. This was great my favourite part was

To put the world back
To bed

This line was a really good ending. Also the first line such wonderful imagery.

a few grammer and spelling mistakes, i believe, but relatively simple, cute and, all around, clean.

that was really good! i...i dont really know what to say, the ending was great, and you put some really great images into your writing...*wipes a tear from eye* i am so proud of you *sniff sniff*

thank you madame *bows*