Lonesome Blue Night

4 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 6
Lonesome Blue Night
©2007 Lexicalized.


It’s a Friday night,
Got nothing to do;
Just lyin’ here, sittin’ here
Thinkin’ ‘bout you.

It’s a Friday night,
Got no one to see.
Just close my eyes, see you there,
Lookin’ at me.

(CHORUS)

Quick, open my eyes,
‘Cause I can’t stand the pain,
With your memory to haunt
In this pouring rain.

So, I sit here alone
In this lonesome blue night,
Wishin’ you were here
Close by my side,
In this lonesome,
Lonesome blue night.

It’s a Saturday night,
And I’m home again,
With a broken-down heart
That just won’t mend.

It’s a Saturday night,
And I see you there
With your pretty blue eyes
And your long, dark hair.

(CHORUS 2)
Quick, open my eyes
‘Cause I can’t stand the sight
Of your tear-streaked face
Right after our fight.

So, I sit here alone
In this lonesome blue night,
Wishin’ I could go back,
An’ do things right,
On this lonesome-
Lonesome blue night.

Well it’s all over now
And you’re gone for good
But I can’t move on
Like I know I should

No, not on this lonesome,
Lonesome Blue Night.
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a young man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. ^_^




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 140
Hi Lexicalized,

I actually quite like this ^-^
You have a lovely flow and this really would fit a country song. It's just that type of lyrics.

It’s a Friday night,
Got nothing to do;
Just lyin’ here, sittin’ here [both at the same time??]
Thinkin’ ‘bout you.

It’s a Friday night,
Got no one to see.
Just close my eyes, see you there
Lookin’ at me.


This part is very nice, because it gives you the situation and if it's sung right I think it will kind of let the listener dive in [in lack of a better way to describe it...] I exspecially love the last two lines.

(CHORUS)

Quick, open my eyes,
‘Cause I can’t stand the pain, [everybody uses this line]
With your memory to haunt
In this pouring rain. [rain-pain sounds a bit forced, plus in my opinion rain sounds a bit cliche here]


Sad enough after your good beginning, I didn't like this part. It sounds cliche to me and I think maybe you should change it.

So, I sit here alone
In this lonesome blue night,
Wishin’ you were here
Close by my side,
In this lonesome,
Lonesome blue night.


I think there was a little much 'lonesome blue night' in this part and somehow it seems weaker then the rest.

Hmm.. there is one question I have about this: At the beginning, when the 'I' is thinking about the 'you', are they already not getting along? [I'm sorry, if it's obvious, but I kind of got a certain picture in my head during the first two verses]

I could qoute about everything else and tell you how great I find it :) , but I think I'll just make it short and say: I absolutely love this!
I hope you [or someone else] get's a kick out of singing this, I think it would be awsome fun, but I can't sing, so..

Keep it up :wink:

~Kalli




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 267
Hey there!

I think it is a nice country song and has a nice rythym.

I haven't been on for 2 months so I won't talk much, just got to get use to this again. It wasn't bad. :wink:
Look at my big shiny shell...




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1090
Reviews 56
Some of the rhythm didn't seem to make sense, but it was still really good. Maybe it was just way different in my head then it was in actuality, but that's what I thought of it.
Peepsls on this website ought not to be so hatin against other writers!

It's hella hard just to post your stuff to this place, yo!



“I'd much rather be someone's shot of whiskey than everyone's cup of tea.”
— Carrie Bradshaw