behind the scenes

[i]really sorry for the rhyming and punctuation i have alot of trouble with those two things...[/i]

Behind the scenes
where none can see,
Behind the scenes
just you and me.

Behind the curtains
long and black,
In dim blue light
we’ll sit and chat,
‘Neath the stairs
we'll laugh and sing.

In the shadows
we keep our souls
We live in darkness
so none can see,

Our cuts,
Our scrapes,
Our broken hearts.

Behind the scenes
where none can see
We are happy


Just you and me.

Hmm, congrats on the misleading title. I figured it was going to be a "Oh, help! Please notice me! piece." A pleasant surprise. However, I don't really feel any of these stanza's our complete. I would like some more in depth descriptions, perhaps more on feelings, why your behind the scene's, etc. Also, the breaks between "our broken hearts/behind the scene's" and "we are happy/just you and me" seem to be unnecessary.

It's a pretty good poem, but I agree, you should elaborate a little more. Filll it out. Complete the thought. I really like the first two stanzas. One specific suggestion I have (which you can consider, but definatley don't have to take, as it may be just my opinion) is making all the stanzas the same length...unless you want to stagger the length for some effect. Just my opinion. Good work though, don't give up on it.

I liked this. I am really really not very good at giveing reviews for poems... Its kinda like free verse lyrical poems. I loved it, had meaning.