A/N: This story is unique for me, in every way. I don't usually write romance, nor do I write in first-person. It usually feels really awkward to me...but my fictionpress audiences liked this one, so I thought I'd publish it here before I continued with MBDA. Enjoy!
What is Love?
By: The Blind Trombonist
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Author’s Dedication: This is a short story I wanted to write using my now improved writing skills to show my love how much she means to me, and how much she touches my life every day. I dedicate this short story to my beloved Chelsea Smith. Without further ado, let’s join the main character!
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My name is Matthew Whitfield and I’m a freshman at Brookwood High School on the outskirts of New York City. I stand at six feet tall, which I am very proud of at my age. I also have long messy brown hair and deep blue eyes. People often call me the oddball of the school, I have only a few friends, but they’re all the friends I need. I have excellent grades in school and I’m one of the top students in my class. I suppose my life is pretty good, but there’s one thing I had never grasped in life, just one thing that was out of my reach.
That one thing was something I had never experienced before, something new and foreign to my life. I had been told a lot about it, but none of it seemed to add up. My best friend Will told me that it was an indescribable happiness that overcame your entire being as if it was an ocean wave, gently pushing you as you float on the water. Just hours later, my sister Kate called it a terrible feeling that will stab you in the back as soon as you let down your guard, as if that same wave carried you out to sea, never to return. The thing I don’t understand is that enigmatic feeling called love.
I never thought I’d understand, I never thought I could comprehend such a thing, but this New Year’s, everything changed. I suppose I should have known, in NYC on New Year’s Eve, anything can happen. It all started at Times Square around nine o’ clock that evening. I had been going there on New Year’s since the year I was born, so every year I have the misconception that I’ll just be bored all night. After I see all of those luminous celebratory lights over all the monstrous buildings, however, every year I’m instantly left speechless.
Feeling curious, I told my mom that I was going to walk alone for a while through the square, just to see what kind of things were going on. As I began to walk, I passed the stage, which was currently occupied by a hard rock band. As they strummed at their guitars, I moved past many food stands, not seeing anything that interested me. Staying up till midnight without any food wouldn’t be any fun for my stomach, I figured. That was when I saw her, standing to the side of a well-lit hot dog stand.
As I looked at the girl standing beside the stand, a winter wind picked up and sent a frigid chill down my body. I looked at her carefully, immediately overtaken by her beauty. Her long streaming blond hair must have been able to touch her toes, and her eyes reflected the oceans that I had always wished to swim in. The child-like expression upon her face made her look as if she was going to cry. She turned her head slowly, as if she realized my eyes peering at her through the crowds of people. Our eyes met, and in that moment, I found myself immersed in a pool of cold sweat. It was as if time had stopped in place, and the loud, bustling square had emptied, leaving only her and I gazing at each other.
I felt a beast begin to rage in my stomach, but it didn’t feel like I was hungry, it was different. My pulse was rapidly increasing, as I looked over her child-like expression, taking in the beauty of her eyes. I took several steps forward through the raging crowd of people as if they didn’t even exist, and before I knew it, I stood before her. From this close distance, I was able to see that she was at least four inches shorter than me, which only added to her apparent innocence.
Her lips stirred slightly as if to speak, but no sound was able to escape before they became still once more. Her lips were pale, probably because of the freezing wind, but I hadn’t even noticed until I was looking more closely at them. “It’s ok, you can talk to me. I won’t hurt you, my name is Matthew…” Only after I had already spoken, I realized that it sounded as if I had been speaking to a five-year old.
She giggled and held her small hands to her rosy cheeks, probably to protect them from the gusting wind. “I’m Gabriel. Nice to meet you. Were you staring at me over there?” I froze at these words, what should I say? What should I do? I had never been so nervous in my entire life. Using my mind to force out the first words I could think of, I opened my mouth and the words immediately came.
“I just thought you looked lonely over here, like you were lost!” I chuckled bashfully. Silently, I waited for her now as another giggle escaped her pale lips.
“Well, actually, I am a little lonely, I did come alone after all…and what’s more, I don’t know my way around this area,” she smiled, taking her hands off of those rosy cheeks. Just for a moment, I felt the desire to warm those cheeks with my own hands, but I quickly snapped to my senses and continued the conversation.
“So, where are your parents then?” Gabriel separated her eyes from mine for the first time and a tear dropped from her eye. “Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to say anything wrong. I’m so sorry!” I felt like a royal imbecile, after all, this was the first time I had ever had trouble talking to a girl. At this point, I felt like I had melted and I was putty in her gentle hands. “So, how old are you?”
A calm stillness came, and she seemed to be pondering over something in her head. Then she moved her lips again, “You’re a kind person, you’re very kind. We must look strange standing here, let’s walk down the street a ways.” I stood still for a moment, wondering why she had not answered my question. Then the biggest shock yet came to me, I felt an icy cold chill on my hand. She was holding my hand. This beautiful, youthful, innocent girl I had just met was holding my hand!
Her hand was freezing, it seemed as if she had been out in the cold for days, I gripped her hand tightly to make sure it stayed warm. What was it that I was feeling? This desire, to keep this girl safe and to make her happy? Was this love? Was this what I didn’t understand? It seemed so simple now, it couldn’t be it. It couldn’t be the same feeling that puzzled me so immensely only minutes ago.
We walked down the street until the large crowds of people were far in the distance and there were no people within several feet of us. She stopped and beamed at me for what seemed like hours and then said to me, “Do you want to be my friend? I don’t think I’ve ever had a friend, or even anyone who cared about me, I’m not only alone here, but everywhere.”
I was shocked at her plight, she never had a friend? What a tragic girl this was, how could she be so nice and so amazingly gorgeous and not have a single friend? It was absolutely unbelievable, but I swiftly realized that pausing my answer to ponder this over was probably not a wise move. “Yes, of course. I don’t understand how you couldn’t have friends though…from what I can see, you’re really kind and incredibly beautiful. You should have more friends than me at least.”
Gabriel giggled again and blushed a dark scarlet as the clock struck ten, and looked up at me with an enchanting gaze. “You’re very kind, maybe even too kind. How could it be?” She played with her hair, hugging it close to her with her arms. It was extremely cute, more so than anything I had ever seen. “How could you be the one? What is love? That was your question, wasn’t it?”
I couldn’t believe it, could she hear my thoughts? Could she understand me just by giving me a gentle look? How did this girl that I had just met understand the question I had asked myself for years? Who was she really? “How do you-“ She shushed me, placing a finger to her lips. Suddenly, an overwhelming gust of wind came from behind her, and without warning, she fell forward into my arms, using my body for support.
I held her close, and she felt cold as an ice cube in my arms. How could anyone be so cold, even in this weather? I hugged her tight, no longer caring about what she knew or didn’t know. I didn’t care to find out how she knew what she knew, or to think about it anymore. The second she fell into my arms, what I had always hoped for happened. I don’t even know how, but the realization came upon me at that very moment, this is what love is.
She pushed away from me, smiling and giving me that innocent gaze of hers again. “I have to go now, I must leave.”
“No! Don’t go!” I protested loudly, my voice echoing through the square, above the voices of all the other people there. “I thought I could have some time to get to know you better…”
“Perhaps another time, perhaps another place, but for now, I definitely have to go. I’m sorry.” She paused and folded her hands together, “What is love? I presume you know the answer?” I nod, looking deeply at my Gabriel, as a lukewarm tear slid down my cheek. She seemed so much more mature, but her innocence still remained. She hugged me once more, returning the tight hug that I had given her. She looked up into my eyes., and without thinking, and without even realizing what I had done at first, I softly pressed my cold lips to hers.
Her entire body warmed up as I closed my eyes, absorbing the feeling that the kiss gave me. I felt as if I could conquer anything, as if I was the happiest boy in the world. I felt her break away from me, but I refused to open my eyes and see her walk away. I couldn’t bear the pain of leaving her for even one second. It felt as if without her I was useless, a meaningless human existence.
Soon, I couldn’t bear the pain anymore and I opened my eyes quickly, hoping that she hadn’t already left. I looked out in front of me, and she was gone, I almost turned away and left, but then I saw her once more. Gabriel was hovering above the ground, holding herself in the air with a pair of large aquamarine wings. “Oh, my God! G-Gabriel, you’re a- you’re an-“
She only nodded, speaking no more words to me. My Gabriel smiled at me one last time, and she turned her back on me. Before I knew it, she began flying off into the distance, a trail of shining azure speckles falling off of her wings. I knew I had to say something, but I didn’t know what. I thought for one more moment and just like before, the words just seemed to escape effortlessly.
“Thank you! I do understand!” I no longer felt sad, and I was able to grin widely at the angel flying off into the distance. I watched her until she was completely gone, and for many minutes after. Eventually, I returned to the busy square with a new outlook on life, having learned more about love in five minutes than most people had learned their whole lives. Gabriel taught me a lot, including the most important thing of all: Love cannot be found, love seeks you out when you’re ready.
In days following my encounter, I have discovered that no one but me had even seen Gabriel at all, no one was even aware that she had been there that night. No one but me was able to see her, why that happened I don’t know to this day, but there is one thing I know. Gabriel came to teach me a lesson that I would use throughout my life. What is the answer to that baffling question? What is love? Well, that is something that each individual person is better off answering themselves.
