Fearless

I'm not afraid of anything on this Earth
Except for forgetting how to breathe
I'm not afraid of anything
Not pain, not gain
Not any trick up their sleeves
I just like knowing I can breathe

I'm not afraid of anything
Except for forgetting how to breathe
I'm not afraid of pain of death
Or sorrow in the ones that I leave
I'm only afraid of forgetting
I just like knowing I can breathe

I'm not afraid of anything on this earth
I don't care about what's filtered in the air
I'm alright with pain, I'm alright with the plunge
After the gain, it's all the Same
No twist of words, or trick up my sleeve
I just like knowing I can breathe

Hmm, I like it. I think the repetition worked well and you carried it off well even though it was the same idea the whole way through.
I think the rhythm was good.
I also liked the way the name was fearless but it sounded as if she/he was very afraid of something, at least to me it did.
I don't know why but this poem really gets to me.
Well done.
Charlotte
xxxxx

I agree with Charlotte. The repetition worked incredibly well! Yes, your poetry has this bit to it that one can't exactly point a finger at. Interesting. Interesting poem, I know I feel the same way!

God Bless--KIM

the repettitition kept my attention,but if you were truely afraid of nothing, you are contradicting that thought.

This is a good poem. You use repetition well (I have trouble with that sometimes as you've already seen) and you are able to use the structure of your poem to give your message. This sounds to me like the typical person who is claiming to be unafraid of anything. Despite this, they fear something no matter how much they try to deny it. My only suggestion would be making the end of the poem a little less fractured than the other parts (conjunctions etc...) Other than that, nice job.

By the way, you were basically right about my message. I wanted to show how the new generation is like the old one in every way.

I read this again and think"wow".. yet there is still something missing.

Thank you all for your replies! It is quite appreciated.

Written on my heart- Hmm... perhaps a little too much space left open? I mean, I kept it nice and simple. Not dense at all, I thought it added to the piece. Oh well, sorry!