Masks

Will they see past
my glossy stare,
that hides my caring eyes?

Will they see through
the mask I wear,
that covers my true self?

Will they notice
that it's all fake,
that I'm not like this?

Please let them look
beyond my mask,
and see my true beauty.

Hmm, hi Lucky.

I think this is an okay start to a poem, but it doesn't really have any poetic elements to make it great? There are no similies/metaphors, everything is explained perfectly. I'd up the language a little..use some "formal" words or something of the like.

Really, this just sounds like a prayer...not like a poem? There is no real ending to it, no conclusion, no...point? I also think the stanzas could stand to be a bit longer...with this kind of format three-lined stanzas rarely work.

Anyway, it's an ok start...but it definitely needs some work.

Happy Editing!

I agree with Via. There's no element that makes it sound spectacular. It's kind of plain.

I like it, but... it kind of doesn't make any sense. Maybe it would have more meaning if you made it a little easier to understand.

I echo everyone else.
I get it, but I found it all little dull. Like, no rhymes. It sounded like you were trying to rhyme, but couldn't do it very well.

Nice Try,

-- M.B.Author

that was very nice =3