The Thorn

The Thorn

*
She is lovely,
the thorn in my side.
She keeps me from slipping
by the wayside.
*
Through the storms of life,
We pass together
Bound with strongest amity,
At times by a tether
*
Constant ever,
That sharp little pinch.
Telling me, always,
Which way is which.
*
And yet,
With all my misery and strife,
I’ve finally noticed,
The rose by my side.
*

It was short, but that was good.

storms of life

My favourite phrase in the poem!

Warm Regards,
-Elitehusky

the rythm in your poem is really good. Your poem has a lot of depth.

Thanks! :D:D:D *Seraph cheers*

very good. you put the rhymes together really well, and it's a fun poem that has good meaning.

(and i'm not a huge fan of poetry! )

oh wait, there was one thing i wanted to say:

it seems like the thorn is a good thing, but then it says "all the misery and strife". that kind of confused me, because why do you have all these things that the thorn helps *her* with, and then act like it's a bad thing.

it seemed to change from the thorn being good to being bad. i know it's hard in poetry, but is there any way you could add to that to clear it up??

Oh... I'll see what I can do :D:D:D:D:D

Awesome Seraph! I love it! (Told you I'd critique some of your stuff--eventually...) I love everything about it. And, as hard as this is for me to believe, I understand the whole poem. When I was younger, I wrote so much poetry (notebooks full), that I got sick of it. Haven't read another poem since fifth grade-until now. Very cool. I love the metaphor-type things.

Very nice, well done.... one problem.. I think that this poem would have sounded 10X much better if you continued the rhyme scheme. Other than that.... great very nice.

Thanks you guys!
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

very good Seraph! I wish I read this earlier, but I never saw it...

The Thorn

*
She is lovely,
the thorn in my side.
She keeps me from slipping
by the wayside.
*
Through the storms of life,
We pass together
Bound with strongest amity,
At times by a tether
*
Constant ever,
That sharp little pinch.
Telling me, always,
Which way is which.
*
And yet,
With all my misery and strife,
I’ve finally noticed,
The rose by my side. - EH! Side and stife don't rhyme and it totally throws off the poem. That sucks... GR!
*

I liked the poem, but I don't get how a thorn is helpful... did somebody shoot you with a thorn and you turned another way? I don't know. I'm not that deep
Great job!
KEEP WRITING!